Chronicles of an Elven Bedwarmer
by swartzvald
Summary: AU, No Wardens, No Blight, Vaughn is still a horny jackass though.  Aedan Cousland saves an elf from being executed and gets more than he anticipated.
1. Unexpected Expense

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the First:**

**Unexpected Expense**

**I don't own Dragon Age, well I own a copy of the game, otherwise I wouldn't have written this but not the copyrights or anything.**

* * *

Aeden Cousland was too curious for his own good.

That was the only explanation he could think of for why he was getting involved in this. What business was it of his that some elf had killed that malodorous jackass Vaughn. That someone had wanted to kill the Arl's son came as no surprise to Aeden- he himself had felt like killing the man within five minutes of meeting him. He should just be grateful for the improvement of the gene pool and go about his business. But noooooo, he was curious. He had to know. Who was this elf that rumor claimed, had killed two dozen of the Arl's guards wearing just the blood spattered remains of her wedding dress?

So he had _investigated. _

He talked to the elven servants at his father's Denerim estates, who had told him of the elf in question. Her name was Kallien Tabris. She lived in the alienage with her father and two cousins. Her mother, who had taught her to fight, had been killed by the city guard, yet she was a member in good standing with the Alienage Watch. The elves informal internal police force. He had spoken to the reverend mother that had presided over the interrupted wedding that she and her entire bridal party had been abducted from.

And now he stood, in the rain, at the entrance to Fort Drakon, bribing his way in to see her.

"This way, your lordship." indicated the guard captain.

Aeden nodded and followed, all the while telling himself to give it up and go home until they came to their destination: a filthy cell like all the others.

"Wake up, you knife-eared whore!" bellowed the captain as he dumped a conveniently placed bucket of water over the comatose prisoner. The only response was a cough and a weak moan. The sight before him turned Aeden's stomach.

The girl, for she couldn't have been more than seventeen summers, was small even for an elf. He had expected her to be...bigger somehow. If she was more than five foot two he would eat his doublet. Her chin length hair was such a pale blond that it was almost white. He expected that under normal circumstances she had the complexion to match, but as it was he was hard pressed to find any part of her body that wasn't an angry red or a dark purple bruise-since she was naked he could see quite a lot of her.

Sensing Aeden's growing concern the captain spoke.

"Interrogation." he said. "The Arl's convinced that this is part of some knife-ear conspiracy." he spat on the elf, "We'll get it out of her eventually."

Aeden found the idea laughable, most likely the paranoid delusions of a father unwilling to admit the truth of his sons depravity.

Aeden came to a decision.

"Captain," he reached for his money pouch. "How would you like to retire?"

The official report would read 'died under interrogation' and if no body could be found, well that kind of thing happened at Fort Drakon all the time.

0-0

Aeden wrapped his newly...well no way around it, purchased elf in his cloak and carried her, bridal style, to his carriage.

_Well,_ he thought, _now what? _

The girl needed medical attention but who could he trust? The coachman was under his employ and could be trusted not to say anything, but the same could not be said for a healer. He rode back home without coming to a conclusion

"Elle," he called as he entered the estate, the housekeeper, a middle aged elf woman, appeared quickly by his side.

"Yes, m'lord?" she asked in question, before a shocked expression overtook her features when he saw what she was carrying. "Sweet Andraste, what happened?"

"Well, you know that elf that killed Lord Vaughn a few days ago..."

Concern superseded her training to await her employer's instructions, and she took over the situation. "Take her to your sister's room." Once that had been done she turned to him and ordered, "Get me some warm water, clean rags, bandages and some poultices." He nodded wordlessly and fetched the requested items thinking it was for the best that Elle took charge anyway. As he watched the maid clean and bandage her wounds he couldn't help but notice that now that he had a minute to stop and look she was rather attractive. Then berated himself for thinking such inappropriate thoughts.

0-0

_The following morning._

"No!" Kallian jerked awake, looked around wildly and tried to assume a fighting stance. Unfortunately she became entangled in the bed sheets and fell out of the bed onto the floor, resulting in quite a bit of pain from her still recovering body. She curled up into a ball and gritted her teeth until it abated somewhat. When she was able to think again she took stock of her situation: she hurt all over, was on the floor and didn't seem to be wearing any clothes. On the other hand Kallian doubted that any room in Fort Drakon had such expensive looking carpets, so it was very likely she was somewhere else. Whether that was an improvement had yet to be determined.

"Ah, you're awake." Greeted a middle-aged elven woman who had appeared seemingly from nowhere. Considering how she was dressed Kallian guessed she was a maid.

"Er...hello?" She asked timorously.

The maid responded with a cheery little wave. "Hello dearie."

"Um..where am I?" She hated to ask such a cliched question but it was rather important information.

Unfortunately, the maid's answer was a deadpanned "On the floor?"

Kallian shot her a pointed look. The maid chuckled to herself and helped the rouge get back up into the bed, in a seated position, before replying. "You a currently residing in the Denerim estate of Teyrn Cousland."

That got Kallian's attention immediately. "What would a Teyrn want with me?"

"Not sure but his lordship payed a hundred sovereigns to keep you from the gallows."the maid replied casually.

"A h-hundred..." Kallian was at a loss for words. What could she possibly do that was worth that much money? Only one thing came readily to mind. And it wasn't a nice thing at all.

She really needed to get out of here. The frightened girl quickly scanned the the room for anything resembling a weapon. She didn't see anything and briefly considered tearing a strip off the sheets for use as a garrotte, but disregarded this as being impractical.

Seemingly oblivious to her guest's growing anxiety, the maid had continued talking: "I'll let the master know you're up."

_The Master? _Kallian cringed at all the wrong connotations of that form of address.

She was shocked out of her reverie by the maid's shout of "HEY BOSS, SHE'S AWAKE!"at what was probably the top of her lungs. The sheer volume of the proclamation made the young elf's head spin.

"Dammit Elle, how many times have I told you not to do that?" A fairly handsome young man, a little over six feet tall with red hair and a neatly trimmed goatee, groused as he walked into the room She estimated him to be no more than a few years older than herself, but she had always had a hard time discerning the age of humans. Part of her was relieved that he wasn't some ugly old man but the rest of her was angry at that part. She was potentially going to be forced into some kind of sexual servitude but it was okay because the guy was good looking. _Nice principals there Kallian. _She thought to herself.

"So how are we this morning?" he asked in a pleasant, friendly voice.

Mustering her courage, Kallian shouted defiantly, glaring at the man as harshly as she could. "I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"

"Um...what?" he stared at her looking like he had just been slapped with a fish.

"You heard me you sick pervert! If you so much as look at me cross eyed I'll gut you like a pig!" she continued flailing her hands in what looked to be an attempt at a violent gesture

The man turned to his maid, who was, for some reason unknown to him giggling. "Elle?"

"She thinks you're going to rape her." Elle managed to say between giggles.

"What? I would never..." he sputtered.

Kallian was confused. This was not the reaction she had been anticipating. She tilted her head at him and cautiously asked "So you're not..."

"NO!" he interrupted vehemently in protest

The maid laughed so hard she fell over.

"Oh." Kallian replied sheepishly. "I'm sorry?"

Aeden pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let's just start over." he turned and left the room only to return moments later. "Hello, I'm Aeden Cousland."

"Kallian Tabris m'lord." she did a sort of sitting curtsy.

"How are you feeling?" He asked again in that pleasant, friendly voice.

This time she elected to answer politely "Pretty sore, but otherwise alright. m'lord."

"Good. Uh, do you need anything?" he asked uncertainly

she bit her lip, not sure if she should be asking things after he had saved her life, but modesty won over pride "Some clothes, maybe?"

His eyes widened as he _finally_ noticed her undressed state. "Oh yes, of course, Elle,"

The maid had finally stopped laughing and was sitting up, wiping tears from her eyes. "Whew, heh heh, ahem, yes sir?"

From the way Aeden rolled his eyes as he gave his instructions, Kallian suspected the maid's behavior was a regular occurrence. "See if we have anything that will fit Miss Tabris."

"Yes sir." she replied, still giggling slightly. Aeden frowned at her in what looked to be fond exasperation, and left the room.

"What's so funny?" asked Kallian irritatedly, mirroring the exasperation Aeden had felt earlier.

"You'll understand when you get to know his lordship a bit better." she replied cryptically. "Anyway, enough of that, let's find you something to wear."

0-0

Kallian soon found herself outfitted in a nightdress several sizes too large for her as well as some underwear and something called a 'bra' that was quite a bit more comfortable than her usual chest bindings. She was as comfortable as she could be given the situation; her thoughts turned to her rescuer.

"What's Aeden like?" she asked.

The maid grinned knowingly. "He's a good man, a proper noble, kind to women and small animals, the whole family's like that. Aedan's in charge of the Alienage and let me tell you, Highever Alienage is the best in Fereldan, real cobbles on the streets and everything."

"H-highever?" Kallian rolled the word tentatively, even as memories surged. "That's where Nelaros..."

Recognition flickered over Elle's face. "Ah, yes, your intended."

Startled eyes were raised quickly to meet Elle's "How did you know?"

"Dearie, practically the whole city knows by now." She informed her fellow elf, wondering just how much she had missed, locked up as she was.

Not that it seemed to matter to Kallian, given her sudden exclamation. "The ring!" she looked through the bedclothes frantically. "I had a ring..."

"Most likely in some guards pocket by now." Elle matter-of-factly stated.

Kallian struggled to rise, frantic energy pushing her forward "I need to get it back!"

Elle put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Let it go child."

"But, " she had tears in her eyes. "He died trying to save me!" Kallian started to weep and the maid embraced her as she cried onto her shoulder. Eventually she fell asleep and Elle tucked her in as she had often done with her own children, and left the room with a sad smile. Aeden was waiting for her just outside the door.

"Is she going to be all right?"

She shrugged a non-committal shrug. "Only time will tell, she seems to be coping for now. Give her a few days for it to set in and see what happens."

"Have we sent word to the family?" He asked, accepting her answer.

"Yes, m'lord." She hesitated a second before forging ahead. " Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"You will anyway so go right ahead." Aeden sighed, knowing his maid all to well.

Instead of some painfully silly question that he was expecting, he merely received a cautious look before Elle continued with her question. "Why did you save her?"

Startled, Aeden thought for awhile. "It was the right thing to do, Kallian's the victim here, she was only defending herself, if it hadn't been the Arl's son and she wasn't an elf, she probably wouldn't even have been arrested."

"She's quite pretty too." noted the maid with a wink.

"Oh? I can't say I noticed." Aeden lied.

* * *

**First dragon age fic, not completely sure where I'm going with this.**

**But reviews will get me there faster.**


	2. Getting to know you

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-Warmer**

**Chapter the Second.**

**Getting to Know You**

* * *

Later that day Aeden was going over some accounts in the library when Elle told him he had a visitor.

"It's Kallian's father." she said with a hint of warning in her voice.

The out of character inflection caused him to raise his head and look at her questioningly "And he wants to see me?"

"Well you did save her life," she paused, giving him a 'like duh' look that was more like her, before adding. "And she's asleep."

"Ah, well, let's go." Understanding, he got up and followed the maid back to foyer where the guest was waiting.

Entering the room, he extended a hand in greeting toward the male elf he saw there. "Hello, you must be Mr. Tabris."

After a moment of surprise he took the offered hand and shook it gingerly. "I am he, m'lord Cousland" Aeden gestured to a couple of nearby chairs, they sat down.

Aeden frowned in thought now that he had heard Kallian's surname in connection to a male it sounded familiar. "You're not Cyrion Tabris are you?"

"Yes, that is my name." The elf answered warily

"Cyrion Tabris the craftsman?" Aeden pressed on not noticing his guest's growing unease.

"Er, yes?"

Mystery solved, Aeden relaxed and thankfully, explained. "Ah, I thought that name sounded familiar, my mother loves your work; we have several pieces. They're very good."

"I'm flattered, m'lord." Cyrion paused and pensively looked to the side, wondering how to phrase this . "As grateful as I am that my daughter is still alive, m'lord, forgive me, but I can't help but suspect your motives."

Aeden's face grew serious. Now that small talk was obviously over "That's...understandable, given your recent problems."

The older male looked relieved. "Then you understand that I must ask what your intentions are towards Kallian."

He was to be disappointed unfortunately the young Cousland was a bit euphemism impaired "Um, not sure I follow."

Cyrion gave him what was best described as an old fashioned look.

"What?" Aeden began feeling irrationally guilty.

The elf looked discomfited. It was difficult to say this point-blank to a noble, he tried again to convey his meaning without being too overt. "You have saved a life, that life now belongs to you."

Unfortunately Aeden still didn't get it. "Excuse me?"

Frustrated, Cyrion couldn't hold his sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose in agitation. "Kallian will no doubt feel very obligated towards you and she is a very attractive young woman, many would be tempted to...take advantage."

Slowly understanding dawned. "What do you me-...OH! NO! I would never..." _Why did everyone he met lately assume he was some kind of sex fiend? _Aeden wondered.

Judging from the look on his face, Kallian's father was skeptical of his… motives, still. "With all due respect, m'lord, that remains to be seen. I should like to see my daughter..?"

"Oh yes, of course, right this way." Aeden shook himself from his thoughts and gestured for the older male to follow him.

0-0

"Kallian, wake up." In her semi-conscious state, Kallian felt someone nudging her shoulder.

"Nungh, go 'way." She swatted blearily in the vague direction of the offending appendage before pulling the blanket up over her head, burrowing back into the bed, warmth and blessed _sleep_.

Cyrion sighed. His daughter had always been so difficult to wake up that he had developed a particular tone of voice that forced her to. "Da'len."

The sleepy elf poked her head out from under the covers. "Daddy?"

From where he was standing just inside the doorway, Aeden couldn't help but realize how cute she looked with her hair all messed up from sleep. Then he realized what he was thinking. And had to forcibly make himself stop.

In the meanwhile… "I am here, Kallian." Cyrion confirmed.

She blinked herself into full consciousness, confused that her father was actually here. In the Teyrn's estate no less. "Father, how –"

"Lord Cousland sent a message, Kallian." Cyrion divined her question, gesturing towards the noble at the doorway.

Put into the spotlight, Aeden felt like an intruder. "I'll just leave you two alone." Aeden said as he turned to leave.

"Wait." called Kallian. She was touched by the gesture; it was more than she had come to expect from any human, even one as seemingly benign as Aeden. She fiddled with the bedclothes. "Thank you, m'lord."

Equally uncomfortable, it seemed, Aeden nodded and rapidly left the room. Once the Teyrn was out of sight, Kallian then turned to her father and immediately asked: "How is Shianni?"

"A little better every day." he replied somberly, thinking of the old saying 'out of sight, out of mind' at Kallian's actions and wished it were so for Shianni as well. "She wanted to come but..."

Kallian nodded in understanding of what Cyrion left unsaid: it wasn't a good idea.. She missed Shianni though.

Hoping to give his daughter some comfort, he offered. "Soris and... his intended are with her."

It worked, though not in the way Cyrion had intended. Kallian snorted and grinned at his statement. "You can't remember her name either, huh?"

Caught, Cyrion cleared his throat and tried to change the subject away from the painful past. "Any plans for the future?"

She bit her lip apprehensively. "Well, I guess I can't stay in Denerim..."

"Yes," her father replied, sardonically "That certainly would be unwise."

Kallian smirked at her father's understatement before her uncertain future bought back her anxieties. "I guess it depends on Aeden." She answered her father's question, feeling the need to explain. "I feel like I should, I don't know, follow him around and do stuff for him?"

"Stuff?" He knew his daughter well, Cyrion admitted inwardly as he raised an eyebrow in question, wanting to know just what exactly did she mean.

"Y'know, cleaning, cooking, fighting, things that I'm good at." The younger elf paused in thought for a second. "Well, maybe not cooking..."

He couldn't help but chuckle at that. His daughter had never been good at cooking. "Good call. I do not wish to see you accused of poisoning the Teyrn. "

Kallian buried her head back into the bedclothes at that. "Shut up, daddy. Really!"

0-0

Aeden had gone back to the library after leaving the father and daughter to speak in privacy. After an hour or two, Kallian limped into the room.

"Oh, excuse me, m'lord." She uttered, wondering if she should have presumed she could borrow something to read.

Aeden was startled: he hadn't heard her come in. _Rogue_. He thought, and made a note to confirm his suspicions later on. "Aeden," he corrected, absentmindedly. "Call me Aeden."

She quirked her lip. That was odd for nobility. "Only if you call me Kallian, none of that 'Miss Tabris' stuff."

"As you wish m'lady." Aeden made a mock bow from his seat, eliciting a snort from Kallian. He eyed her uneven stance. "Should you be out of bed?"

"Probably not, I still ache pretty badly. It's just so BORING! So I thought I would find something to read." She regarded him briefly before rolling her eyes at the skepticism she saw there. "Yes, I can read."

"I didn't say a word." He replied innocently. "Help yourself."

"Humph." she grunted, not falling for that, and went to look through the shelves.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye, his mind no longer on the paperwork on his desk. The neck of the oversized nightdress had slipped down to a side, exposing her bare shoulder fetchingly. He told himself to stop looking, to stop thinking about it, that there were dozens of reasons _not_ to go there. Perhaps if he sat here long enough he might remember what they were.

Kallian, unaware of the young lord's attention, perused the contents of the library. She muttered to herself while she looked. "Boring, boring, read it, crap, oh! That'll do." She snagged a copy of 'Spicy Elf Tales: collection 16' and tucked it under her arm. Mollified for the present, she turned and limped back to her room, waving a quick farewell to the distracted Aeden as she departed.

0-0

Kallian sat transfixed by the text of her smutty book, so much so that she didn't notice Aeden walk up behind her and start reading over her shoulder.

"I don't think that's anatomically possible." he announced, causing her to jump in surprise.

"AAAH!" She turned to look at him, flustered. "Don't DO that!"

She was met by his grin, which earned him a glare in return. "What do you want?" Abruptly, she remembered her station, and tacked on a feeble "m'lord.'

He chuckled to himself, finding amusement in her behavior. "I brought you something to eat." He nodded to the tray he was carrying.

"Oh... Shouldn't a servant do that?" Kallian asked, apprehensively.

Aeden shrugged. "Probably, but I've never been one for convention and besides, I wanted to talk to you."

Instantly, she felt her apprehension increase tenfold. "What about, m'lord?"

"None of that 'm'lord' nonsense. Didn't I tell you to call me Aeden?" He scolded, satisfied when she nodded in acquiesce hesitantly. "Well I just wanted to get to know you better."

"Oh..." Kallian replied nervously.

He set down the tray he was carrying and she eyed it dubiously. "What's all this?" She gestured to the selection of meats and cheeses before her, uncertain how exactly he expected her to eat it.

"It's the latest thing." He replied enthusiastically. "You take a slice of bread, put some meat and cheese on it and then put another slice of bread on top." He demonstrated. "It's called a sand-witch."

"That's an odd name." Kallian gave her meal a dubious look. It didn't seem to contain any sand, and did not appear in any way magical.

Aeden shrugged and made another one for himself, before pouring them both some wine. "So what did you do, you know, before all this happened?" He asked as he brought the cup to his lips, balancing his bread with the other hand.

"I worked at the Pearl." She replied, matter-of-factly.

Her answer caused him to spray wine all over himself as he goggled at her. Kallian couldn't help but giggle. "As a maid, m'lo-Aeden. You didn't think that prostitutes cleaned their own rooms, did you?"

"I can't say I've ever thought about it." He replied, blushing. Images of the Pearl and Kallian now dancing around like rabid bunnies in his mind. Very inappropriate images, at that.

They chatted for a while about various far more neutral things, to his relief. She told him about life in the alienage and he in turn told her about growing up in Highever with Fergus and Elissa. Kallian found herself rather liking the young lord. He was well, _nice_. It was quite the change from the derisive scorn or benign condescension she got from most humans. Aeden found he quite liked talking to her as well. She was upbeat and optimistic despite what had happened to her. He felt a sort of instant connection that sometimes happens between complete strangers.

"Have you given any thought to what you want to do?" He brought back the conversation to serious topics.

The elf lowered her eyes. "Well, I thought I would like to... Stay with you? I mean I kind of owe you, right? If that's all right, I mean?"

"Yes, that's fine. I'm sure I can find you a position on my staff." He wondered why that sentence that had sounded _fine_ in his head had suddenly sounded suggestive.

"What sort of position?" A hopeful, curious Kallian inquired, with an innocent look on her face.

Completely unbidden the word "horizontal" suddenly appeared in his mind, as he cut his eyes towards the novel she had discarded in favor of the food, thinking of his previous comment on positions. Thankfully, he managed to avoid saying it out loud. "Err... I don't know. What can you do?"

"I'm good at cleaning..."

"And you can read and write?" Somehow, the image of a studious Kallian and a maid just didn't… _work_. Literacy generally meant no need to do manual labor after all.

"My father taught me." she answered proudly.

"Anything else?"

Her eyes lit up."I'm a good fighter."

He was reminded that this rather small girl had successfully fought her way though the Arl's guards. "Hmm, how about you show me when you're feeling better?"

"Sure!" She took a tentative bite of her sand-witch. She 'mm-ed' in surprise.

"Good, isn't it?"He asked rhetorically, just a mite bit smug at being right.

She swallowed and took another, much bigger, bite. "Mmf."

Aeden chuckled, amused by her enthusiasm.

0-0

The next few days passed quickly. Aeden would have his meals with her and they would chat about various things. After about four days she felt well enough to explore the estate. She was in a room overlooking the courtyard when she spotted something interesting: it was Aden, practicing with his guards, shirtless. He was quite a bit more muscular than she had expected, probably came from wielding that giant hammer. A small part of her mind noted that he was rather good with it, but most of her was watching the way his muscles flexed when he moved. It was almost hypnotic.

"See something you like?" inquired a wry voice. Kallian turned to regard Elle, who was smirking at her.

"No! I was j-just, uh, admiring his technique." she replied unconvincingly.

"Is that what they're calling it now?" Elle's smirk only got wider, in Kallian's opinion.

Kallian remained silent while the tips of her ears turned pink.

Elle decided to spare the girl more embarrassment – for now. "Well whatever it was you're going to get a closer view."

A puzzled expression crossed the young elf's face. "Huh?"

"His lordship has requested that you join him, if you feel up to it, of course."

She looked down at her nightdress. "Um..."

Elle chuckled, understanding. "Come on, we'll find you some armor."

0-0

Aeden was taking a break when Kallian came into the courtyard. He was pleased to see that Elle had managed to find the Dalish armor he had asked her to get. It made the young rouge look exotic and dangerous. Also it helped distract from how nervous she looked, most likely due to the presence of all the unknown heavily armed humans.

"You wanted to see me m'lord?" she asked in uncharacteristically deferential tone.

"Yes, come with me, I'll introduce you." She nodded and fell into step two paces behind as he went over to the guards. "Gentlemen, if I could have your attention?" They stopped what they were doing and looked at him. "I just wanted to introduce you to er..." He suddenly realized that it might not be the best idea to use Kallian's real name.

"Inri." Supplied the elf smoothly. "Kallian Inri"

"Er, yes." He shot her a questioning look, she shook her head, to indicate that she would tell him later. "She's going to be my new bodyguard."

* * *

**Hello, fairly quick update, don't get used to that, it took me about a month to find a beta for ch1, so I worked on this in the meantime, hence the quick posting.**

**also, speaking of beta I'd like to thank for her work on the story.**


	3. interview and personal hygine

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Third**

**Interview and Personal Hygiene**

**I don't care what Wikipedia says, I do not own Dragon Age.**

* * *

The guards were silent for what seemed to Aeden to be an uncomfortably long time. Finally the Sargent in command approached him.

"Permission to speak freely m'lord?" Ah, well. It was too much to hope that they would accept it without question.

"Yes, Sargent Cartwright?"

"Is this... wise sir?"

"Explain yourself Sargent." Normally Aeden liked for his men to question him, it let him know they were paying attention, it was only in this particular instance that it was annoying.

"She's awfully small sir." Cartwright gave Kallian the once over. His gaze settling on a point four inches below her face. "Unless you are planning to conceal her somewhere about your person I don't see how she'd be any use at all, No offense." he added as an afterthought.

She scowled at him and emitted a low growling noise from the back of her throat. To his credit the man was not intimidated.

"Perhaps a demonstration is in order," interjected Aeden, turning to Kallian "Miss Inri?"

"No, m'lord." Kallian shook her head, narrowing her eyes at Cartwright who had preened at her refusal. He probably thought she was too scared. She'd show him.

Aeden raised an eyebrow. He would have thought that she would jump at the opportunity. "Why not?"

"It'd be unfair sir." Kallian scanned the guards and picked the four largest. "You, you, you and you, assist the Sargent." The men made there way uneasily over, muttering among themselves. "Now, attack me."

The men looked at each other warily. Kallian was quite pleased by this, it meant that Aeden did not employ stupid guards. They knew that when a small, seemingly weak opponent asks you to attack them it generally doesn't end well for the attackers.

"I'm not scared of some little girl!" One of them yelled and charged.

Kallian sighed; for all the lack of stupidity there was always one. She deflected the man's sword with her practice dagger and struck him at the base of the throat with the pommel of her other dagger-he went down choking for breath.

The remaining guards circled her cautiously, learning from their colleague's mistake. Feeling board, Kallian decided to take the initiative and charged, ducking under a sword and kicking out at the man's leg, which caused him to stagger forward. She quickly spun behind her attacker and grabbed him from behind "slitting" the guard's throat.

Two down.

A third man managed to catch her from behind with his shield but she was able to roll into the impact and put some distance between them. Unfortunately for her, he continued his attack with sword upraised but Kallian deftly sidestepped and thrust her dagger into his lightly armored underarm.

Another "kill".

The last two, Sargent Cartwright and a man with a great-sword, chose then to start coordinating their attacks. Perhaps they saw that it was futile to attack alone, pride be damned. The one with the great-sword would attack and then retreat behind the Sargent's shield. Kallian was forced back on defense and waited for them to make a mistake. It came sooner than she expected when the great-sword wielder overextended his strike and a swift step had her inside his reach and taking him out with a well placed stab.

She turned just in time to catch the Sargent sword with a cross dagger block and kicked him in the chest, putting him off balance enough that she could surge forward and tackle him to the ground and straddle his waist with her dagger at his throat, As her dagger kissed his throat and her weight straddling his waist, Kallian grinned at the Sargent dangerously.

Aeden was a bit stunned, that was probably the hottest thing he had ever seen. He vaguely registered that Kallian had gotten up and sheathed her daggers pointedly, returning to his side. _I should be saying something now, right?_ "Er...um, very good Miss Tab-er, Miss Inri..."

She took a moment to catch her breath. "Thank you, m'lord."

Blinking, Aeden forced himself to focus on the guards. "Anyone else have any questions?" They shook their heads emphatically. "Good. Miss Inri?"

"Yes, m'lord?" Kallian canted her head in question.

"Come with me." He turned, and left Kallian to follow curiously.

"Inri?" He asked once he thought they were out of earshot

Kallian shrugged, succinctly elucidating."My mother's maiden name."

Aeden nodded and thought for a bit. "That's dalish isn't it?"

"My grandfather was Dalish. I've always liked the way it sounded." She elaborated.

"Ah." Aeden nodded his understanding, veering towards a corridor she hadn't had the pleasure to explore yet. "That was amazing fighting by the way."

Kallian blushed faintly. "Oh, well, uh, thank you." she wasn't really used to getting compliments. Hastily, she changed the subject."Uh, m'lord, what's with this armor? It's kind of, well, skimpy."

Aeden shifted his weight uncomfortably."It's part of your disguise, your supposed to be Dalish,and er... according to Elle if you wear that, no one will be looking at your face."

He cleared his throat, feeling awkward and tried to ignore her shocked expression. "I'm going to get cleaned up, we've got a meeting with the king later."

"We?"she asked nervously, _this_ shocking revelation having wiped the previous one from her mind.

"You're my bodyguard, you go where I go." Aeden blithely replied over his shoulder, not noticing Kallian swallow nervously. "The armory is at the end of the hall, get yourself some weapons, then find Elle, she'll help you get ready."

0-0

After procuring a pair of dalish daggers and wandering around for about twenty minutes Kallian managed to find Elle.

Or rather, Elle found her. "There you are, I've been looking everywhere for you."

"But –" Elle didn't bother with her protests, and simply grabbed Kallian's arm and started dragging her down the hall, with the younger elf struggling to keep pace. They quickly came to a room with tiled walls, a lot of cupboards and a curtain covered doorway at the far end.

"Strip." Ordered the maid.

"What!" Kallian crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive gesture, stunned by the order.

Elle snorted, before commanding. "The armor, take it off. Underwear too."

"What? But why?" Pleaded the confused rogue, fearful of being sexually assaulted.

Elle glared. "If you think I'm letting you see the king without having a bath..."

"Oh. Why didn't you say?" She started getting undressed.

"Well we're in a bathroom, I thought it was obvious. The maid deadpanned. "Go through there when you're finished, I'll be with you in a moment." She gestured to the curtain, handing Kallian a robe to wear.

"Wow." she whispered in a subdued voice. The room was impressive. The ceiling, walls and floor were covered in a brilliant white marble tile, in the center of the room sat a raised stone tub large enough for at least five people. _What an amazing bathroom!_ She thought. Personal hygiene was a luxury few could afford in the alienage. Since her family was a bit better off than most they had a copper hip bath that got used about once a month. Although since she had started working at the Pearl she had more frequently used the facilities there, which weren't nearly as fancy as this. In fact she was so impressed that she failed to notice the room's other occupant.

"Kallian?" Aeden asked, not feeling at all awkward. As a member of the aristocracy, he was used to servants (normally Elle) seeing him naked, so Kallian doing so was no big deal.

Registering his voice, the elf sought its source. "Aeden?" The young lord was just exiting the tub.

_Okay_, she thought, _don't look down._

She looked down.

She tried to convince herself it wasn't a big deal, she'd seem naked guys before.

Well, guy.

Well, _Soris. _

But this felt different somehow. Were all humans so much...Bigger? at this point her brain stopped working. Luckily, for them both, Elle came in with a towel.

"Take this your lordship." she handed him the towel. "_This one_ needs my full attention."

"Erg..." grunted "_that one_" Kallian's brain obviously had not yet finished re-booting entirely.

Aeden wisely remained silent, he knew his servant well enough to recognize the look in her eyes. It was the 'I've got a new toy' look. He said a quick prayer for the young rogue and quickly scuttled away.

With the cause of her problem gone said rogue's head had cleared and she became aware of Elle looking at her in a distressing way.

"Um..."

The maid advanced brandishing a soapy washcloth and a demented expression.

"Eep!"

0-0

Some time later Kallian sat in front of a mirror with an expression of wonderment at the gorgeous elf reflected back at her.

"Is that me?" she inquired dreamily. She'd been scrubbed, soaped, perfumed and painted, her hair had been rinsed, washed, brushed and braided to within an inch of it's life. The last ninety minutes were just a blur of steam, the smell of soap and hands everywhere scrubbing relentlessly. She would swear the Elle was secretly an octopus. The young elf still felt mildly traumatized but maybe it had been worth it.

Scratch 'maybe' it was worth it.

"Who else would it be?" Elle beamed proudly at her masterpiece.

Kallian sputtered, trying to string her thoughts into a sentence."I don't, well, I nev...I'm pretty?"

Well, that comment killed the mood. Elle rolled her eyes and snorted. "Like you don't know."

"N-no, I mean guys have hit on me before but I always thought it was..." She blushed and her voice fell to a whisper. "Because I have large... you know." she cupped her hands in front of her chest in the universal gesture for boobs.

The older woman chuckled. "They are a rather prominent feature aren't they."

Kallian looked down. She knew she was rather well endowed, especially for an elf. Honestly, she didn't understand what the hype was. They made her look ungainly, and not to mention they got in the way when she fought. Most of the time, she kept them bound but it only helped up to a point.

"Anyway," Continued Elle. "Put your armor on and we'll meet Aeden in the foyer."

Kallian blinked, unsure of what Elle was talking about. "The what?"

"The entrance." The maid deadpanned, having forgotten that Kallian wasn't used to noble households.

The younger elf nodded in comprehension, following the maid's lead in leaving the room. "Oh."

0-0

Aeden was waiting by the door when Elle stuck her head into the room, demanding with a smirk. "Close your eyes, m'lord."

"Why?" He questioned, just to irritate her. He knew his maid too well by now.

Testily, she replied. "Just _do_ it!"

Sighing exaggeratedly, Aeden made a show of closing his eyes. "Fine, they're closed."

There followed sounds of a scuffle, and someone whispered a heated "No!" …_Wasn't that Kallian's voice?_

"Just get out there!" Elle's bossy tone was obvious. There were some more noises for a while until an abrupt silence took its place. "Okay, you can look now." The maid announced, her voice slightly out of breath.

He opened his eyes and stared, confused. "Kallian? Is that you?"

"Um... Hello, m'lord?" Confirmed the blushing elf.

An awkward silence ensued as Aeden found himself unable to speak. _Maker she's gorgeous, _he thought.

"Well?" She inquired, blushing faintly, and looking down at her boots. "I don't look too horrible, do I?"

Aeden's eyes shot up to her face from… wherever they had been wandering in shock. _How could she…_"N-no! You look...amazing."

Prompted by his stutter, she looked up. Their eyes met in the silence, and for some reason neither was able to explain, both of them were unable to look away.

"I do good work, huh boss?" Interrupted Elle, cutting short the moment. When they still didn't break eye contact, the maid grinned. "Don't you think you should get going?"

"Hm?" Grunted Aeden, having seemingly lost all functions beyond that of a caveman.

Elle's grin only got wider. "You know, the king?"

"What? Oh! The king! Right..." He reluctantly turned away, unweaving the spell that had fallen over them. Kallian gave her head a little shake to clear the cobwebs as she made to follow her employer out of the door. _What _was _that?_

0-0

The palace was huge, Aeden had been forced to elbow Kallian in the ribs a few times to stop her from gawking.

"It's so BIG!" she whispered. Once they had reached the royal audience chamber.

"I suppose." Aeden replied in a neutral tone, distracted. He'd seen it before and Highever castle was almost as big. Not to mention he was mentally rehearsing what he was going to say to the king. Kallian realized that was all she was getting out of him and returned to trying to look at everything without acting like a tourist.

After a surprisingly short wait the royal steward, an older man with a ridiculously elaborate mustache and a stiff self important bearing, walked into the room and with his nose in the air.

"The king _h_will see _h_you now. _H_walk this_ h_way." he announced with an exaggerated upper class accent.

Kallian really wanted to do a 'if I could walk that way' joke but decided it would be out of character for a dalish warrior so instead she concentrated on looking stoic. She recalled the instructions Aeden had given her on the ride over.

"_Try not to talk." he paused. "Don't get upset, it's part of your disguise. We're not actually going to say you're Dalish, but you're wearing Dalish armor and carrying Dalish weapons so people will just assume. I think you can pull it of if you don't talk."_

_Kallian was a bit offended. Was this one of those sexist things again? And here she had thought Aeden was different…_ _"Why can't I talk?"_

"_Well, mostly because you have a Denerim accent." Aeden shrugged._

"_I do NOT!" __Sufficiently distracted from her thoughts of female suffrage, she paused in protest,_ _suddenly uncertain. "Do I?"_

_Aeden smiled, confirming._ _"You do."_

"_Oh." Kallian caved. He probably knew better anyway, seeing how he was the well-traveled lord. Instead, she chose to double-check. "Okay…_ _So, just stand around and look tough?"_

"_Pretty much." Aeden nodded, mind already distracted by other matters._

_It sounded easy enough… "I can do that." Kallian affirmed, to a distant nod from Aeden. _

They eventually reached their destination and the steward ushered they in. Kallian had to leave her daggers at the door, much to her displeasure

"Greetings your majesties." Aeden bowed and Kallian followed his example. She surreptitiously sized up the royal couple. King Callian was a large handsome blond man with a surprisingly honest face. He radiated an aura of unbridled optimism. She'd heard he was a bit thick, but very keen.

Queen Anora was a different story entirely. She was quite good looking and as blond as her husband but that was were the similarities ended. While Callian seemed honest but perhaps not that bright. The Queen was guarded and had eyes like a fox, full of cunning and guile. Kallian had heard rumors that the Queen was the one who really ran Ferelden and now that she had met the woman in person...Well, the rumors were easy to believe.

Aeden engaged them in small talk for awhile. Kallian let her mind wander. Unbidden the image of Aeden getting out of the bath sprang to mind. He really was quite good looking. _For a human_, she added belatedly. _And what was that moment as we were leaving? Am I falling for him?_ Before she could continue in that vein of thought she was interrupted by the queen.

"And how are you feeling today Miss Tabris?"

"What?" she answered without thinking. Then all the color drained out of her face as she realized what had just happened.

_Oh shit._ She thought.

* * *

**Decided to only change her last name, changed previous chap to match, sorry for the inconvenience.**

**OK that's enough for now. Reviews are nice so leave one, won't you?**


	4. God save the Queen

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the fourth**

**God save the Queen**

**I can't think of a funny way to say that I don't own Dragon Age.**

* * *

There was a brief moment of stunned silence. Aedan was the first to recover.

"Your Majesty I-" He started. He never got a chance to finish whatever he planned to say though.

At almost exactly the same time, Kallian had made an adrenaline fueled dash for the only thing in the comfortably furnished sitting room that even vaguely resembled a weapon: the fireplace poker. Her mind was racing to try to find an escape route. _Okay, the door is guarded_, she took a quick glance out the window, a_nd we're on the third floor._ Kallian didn't even consider attacking the King and Queen, she was still Ferelden after all. She wondered if she could squeeze herself up the chimney.

"Kallian." Aedan moved in front of her, breaking her frantic train of thought.

"I'm not going back!" She yelled defiantly with a just noticeable twinge of panic creeping into her voice.

Aedan sighed. Of course she would react like this. "Calm down" He ordered.

"You fucking calm down!" She bit back, forgetting he _was_ a noble in her fury. How could he expect her to calm down in such a situation? She was going to get locked up. Killed. After everything…

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He said, looking directly into her eyes.

Kallian shook her head and brandished the poker threateningly.

"You need to trust me." He started to move towards her. Strangely, that statement stopped her. She did trust him, Kallian realized. He had saved her life after all. She started to lower the poker. Sensing her flagging resolve, Aedan stepped up to her and gently took it away.

"Nothing is going to happen to you." He repeated in a reassuring tone. "I promise."

Aedan embraced her. After a few brief moments she collected herself and pushed him away, sending him a thankful smile.

"Thanks." She murmured as they looked into each other's eyes.

"Well," Interrupted the Queen. "That was dramatic. Are you ready to behave in a civilized manner now, Miss Tabris?"

"Yes, your majesty." she answered in a tired voice.

Aedan put his arm around her shoulders and steered her to sit down beside him on the couch.

"Have some tea." Suggested the King. "It's supposed to be calming."

Very carefully, Kallian took a sip, painfully aware that the cup was probably worth more than her house. Still, the tea did seem to help.

"She's not going to be executed." Aedan said in a very serious voice that Kallian hadn't heard him use before. He actually sounded like a noble, she subconsciously noted, as she tensed. This was their 'moment of truth.'

Both Aedan and Kallian were rather taken aback when the Queen raised an eyebrow and Callian released a small chuckle.

"How would we do that? She died in prison a week ago. We are not in the habit of executing dead people." The Queen replied.

"Well, unless they're zombies." Callian interjected.

Anora rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Yes, dear. Unless they're zombies."

"B-but I killed a noble!" _and his friends and a lot of guards and some dogs_, she added. Kallian still felt kind of bad about the dogs. They couldn't just let her off like that, could they?

"No." corrected the Queen. "You killed Vaughn." She paused momentarily in thought. "That should really merit some kind of civic award. Maybe a plaque 'On this spot in 9:30 Dragon Kallian Tabris killed the biggest jackass in all of Ferelden.' Something to mark the occasion for future generations."

"Nobody liked him." Callian added, while surreptitiously looking at Kallian's breasts.

"Indeed." Anora agreed, shooting her husband a warning glare. "Indeed, I'm quite cross with you Aedan Cousland." The abrupt shift of attention onto him caught Aeden off guard.

"Um… May I ask why, Your Majesty?" Aedan asked awkwardly.

"I've been working for months. Building a case for royal control of the alienages. Then, like a gift from the Maker, this incident with Vaughn happens! It created much public sympathy for the elves and brought to light abuses of the current administrators. I had a royal pardon all lined up so Miss Tabris there," she gestures at Kallian. "The very sympathetic hero of the tale, could testify before the Landsmeet and the alienages can be removed to royal control." She glared at Aeden, whose broad frame shrunk slightly. "And what happens? It comes to my attention that she has 'died'. Coincidentally after a visit from Lord Cousland. And even more coincidentally the same day Captain Kirahee quits after coming into the possession of a rather large sum of money." She gave Aedan a flat look. "Really Aedan? You couldn't wait one more day for your new bed-warmer?"

The bed-warmer comment seemed to go right over Aedan's head but Kallian caught the reference and gasped indignantly.

"She was being tortured!" He protested, seeming to have missed Anora's insinuation.

Anora sniffed dismissively. "Miss Tabris a tough girl, she would have been fine." The elf in question started to open her mouth to disagree but remembered that this was the Queen and thought better of it.

The Queen coolly took a sip of her tea. "Anyway, as your concubine there-"

"It's not like that!" the Lord and the elf protested in unison – this time, Aedan had heard.

Anora shot them a skeptical look. "Is dead." she continued as if she had not been interrupted. "She can't appear before the Landsmeet." (Testimony from deceased individuals is inadmissible in court as a provision of the anti-necromancy act of 7:28 Exalted)

She sighed theatrically but then perked up. "Fortunately there was another victim..."

Kallian saw where this was going before Anora went any further. "No! Shianni is in no condition to -"

Anora cut her off in much the same way. "It's cute that you think I care. At what point did I make you think this was a request?" she said with deceptive sweetness.

Kallian sputtered in outrage, unable to form a coherent word (much less a sentence) in her fury. Couldn't the Queen see that they weren't just _pawns_ to be used?

"Your sister -"

"Cousin." Corrected Callian, smirking that he had one-upped Anora at last.

"Er, yes." Anora shot the king a glare. "Your cousin _WILL_ testify before the Landsmeet."

"But -" Kallian tried to protest.

She was steamrolled though. "Your only say in the matter is whether she finds out from you or when several of the royal guardsmen show up on her doorstep tomorrow morning." Interrupted Anora in her 'I am the Queen and you will do what I say' voice. It was… extremely effective.

"Why do you want the alienage anyway?" Kallian sulked.

"I like elves," she answered evasively. "They're pretty."

"Money." Interjected Callian at almost the exact same time, earning himself another glare from Anora. Evidently, the Queen hadn't wanted to discuss this here.

"But... Elves don't have any money?" Pointed out the only elf in the room. The condition of the alienage was more than enough to show how poor they were.

"Currently that's true but that is why we have Lord Aedan here." Callian gestured.

Aedan stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I was wondering when you would get to me, I was starting to feel left out."

Anora sighed. Why were men so childish?

"Aedan, how much did your family collect in taxes from Highever alienage last year?"

"Um..." He tried to recollect the numbers his accountant had presented him with, and then added it up in his head. "Approximately twenty-five-hundred sovereigns."

Kallian was stunned, that was a _lot _of coin.

Anora inclined her head before continuing the chain of questions as though talking to a young, very dumb, child. "And who is in charge of Highever alienage?"

"Um...Me?" Aedan deadpanned, failing to see where she was going.

The Queen sighed. "Yes, you, and how did you get the alienage to be so profitable?"

"Oh!" It would seem that Aedan finally understood. "Well..."Aedan went into a spiel of information that had a lot of words Kallian didn't understand, like 'infrastructure improvement', 'Entrepreneurial expansion' and quite a lot about something called the "Free Market". If the market was free then how did it make any money? She was baffled.

The Queen seemed impressed enough though. "Aedan, what would you say if I were to offer you control of the alienages?"

"What all of them?" Aedan blinked in astonishment. He certainly hadn't been expecting that!

Anora's answer was an unequivocal "Yes."

"No stupid lords arguing with me?" he clarified. The Landsmeet was _such_ a pain sometimes.

Callian shook his head. "No, you don't have to deal with those idiots – I would. Ugh."

Anora glared at the King. "You would answer directly to the crown." she confirmed.

He looked extremely thoughtful. "I would probably say yes."

"It's a bit early for that isn't it?" Callian remarked to Anora.

"It was a purely speculative inquiry," answered the Queen smugly.

0-0

Later, after the meeting had ended and the pair had been escorted back to their carriage, Kallian wondered aloud. "Was she serious about sending the guard to Shianni?"

"I don't know." Aedan answered honestly. The Queen enjoyed her mind games – rather like her father, that one.

Kallian stared out of the window for a bit before speaking again. "Um...Aedan?"

"You want to stop by the alienage?" He guessed.

She was surprised he'd read her so well, but nodded in agreement. "Yes, please."

Aedan rapped twice on the roof and the driver's head came into view. "M'lord?" Inquired the older male elf.

"Swing 'round to the alienage would you Dobson

"Sir?" Dobson's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. His receding hairline, to be precise. "Are you sure? The wife will give me hell if anything happens to you."

"I can handle Elle." Aedan waved off the concern. "Just do what I say."

The elf's dubious expression clearly communicated his doubts at that claim. "If you say so sir." He replied as he climbed back up to the driver's seat.

"Er, if you could just drop me off..." Began Kallian.

She was roundly interrupted though. "Nonsense, I'm coming with you."

"Um..." Kallian paused, processing the many ways in which that was a bad idea. "You don't need to, uh, it's not exactly safe." _For humans_ went unsaid but was clearly implied.

Aedan didn't notice. "All the more reason for me to go then. Now," He lifted up one of the seat cushions to reveal a small cache of weapons and armor. "Help me put this chain mail on."

Kallian decided not to argue. Aedan could be surprisingly stubborn. By the time he had successfully donned his armor and retrieved his weapons, a heavy steel maul and a crossbow, they had reached the alienage entrance.

"It won't take very long, really, you'll hardly notice I'm gone." She said in one last futile attempt to get him to stay with the coach.

He still got out of the coach after her. "No, no I insist, if I'm going to be running the place I need to see what I have to work with."

"Okay, fine." She sighed. He was armed, so he probably could take care of himself. "But don't say I didn't warn you."

0-0

Aedan was stunned. He had expected the alienage to be bad but this was much worse than he had anticipated. How could anyone live like this? Not only were the streets not paved but no one had even bothered to put any gravel down either. As a result they were trudging through ankle-deep mud. And the buildings, if the word even applied to such ramshackle structures, seemed to have been made entirely out of scrap wood and were almost uniformly on the verge of collapse.

"This is awful." He declared bluntly.

"It's not that bad." Kallian responded automatically but without any real conviction. She didn't need to turn around to feel Aedan's dubious expression. "Okay, maybe it is, but it's better than nothing."

He snorted in disagreement. 'Nothing' he could work with, there was a lot of potential in 'nothing,' but this...he didn't even know where to begin! Deciding not to think about that right now he concentrated on following Kallian without falling into the mud and drowning.

Eventually they came upon a house that was less ruined than the others. Kallian knocked on the door.

"Hi Dad." She gave her father a hug. "Is Shianni in?"

"Kallian! Uh...yes she and..." He wrinkled his brow in concentration. "Valora? Are sharing your old room."

"Good evening Mr. Tabris." Aedan made his presence known.

"Lord Cousland? Uh, what a surprise," He turned to where Soris was standing with a perplexed look on his face. "Soris! Make some tea." He ordered with the slightest trace of panic in his voice.

"Why do I have to -" Soris's protest was silenced by Cyrion's glare.

"Um... Right away uncle." He turned towards the stove. "Valora?" He called. "How do you make tea?" His wife rolled her eyes and went over to help him.

While this was going on, Kallian had slipped unnoticed into her old room. Shianni was sitting in bed doing some sewing. She looked quite a bit better than the last time Kallian had seen her but still didn't seem to be back to her old self yet.

"Hey." she greeted her cousin.

Shianni looked up at her with an expression of shock. "Kallian? You're alive?" She seemed genuinely surprised.

"Didn't father tell you?" Kallian frowned. She distinctly remembered her father saying that he would tell Shianni.

"I thought he was trying to make me feel better. Like that time your dog was run over by a cart and uncle said he ran away to live on a farm." Shianni replied.

Kallian stared. She'd always believed that story. "Scruffy died?"

Shianni rolled her eyes. "Focus, Kallian."

"Right." she said, focusing. "Why did you think that?"

"Well, it's pretty unlikely, the son of the second highest noble in the land rescued you." she scoffed. "So, how did you really escape?"

"Aedan Cousland gave the captain of the guard a hundred sovereigns to say that I had died and then took me home with him." Kallian summarized.

The redhead's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped open. She stayed like that for some time. Kallian was starting to get concerned. Was her cousin in shock or something? "Shianni?"

Her cousin suddenly sprang out of bed and pulled her into an embrace. "Oh Maker, he tried to make you his sex slave didn't he?" Shianni was setting a world record in conclusion jumping. "It must have been so awful! But everything is okay now. You're safe here and everything will be alright." She tightened her embrace on her perplexed cousin. "How did you escape?"

"I asked if we could stop by the alienage on the way back from the palace. I think you've got the wrong idea about Aedan, he's really very nice." _Oh no_, Shianni thought _she's been brainwashed!_ Human men, especially nobles, were only after one thing. It was the same thing elven men were after but she was ignoring that little detail right now.

"Oh really? Then why is he making you wear such skimpy armor." Shianni pulled back to poke at the leather.

Kallian pulled back as well, to get away from her cousin's fingers. "It's Dalish. It's part of my disguise."

Shianni rolled her eyes. "Sure it is."

"It is!" Kallian protested, truly baffled. "Why are you being like this? You haven't even met him yet."

"He's a noble, don't you remember what they're like?" Shianni shot back.

"Dammit Shianni, he's not Vaughn!" Shianni flinched like she'd been slapped. "Vaughn is dead, I killed him myself. Aedan is nothing like him."

The fiery redhead recovered herself quickly. "Hmph." she snorted derisively.

"Look, he's here why don't you come meet him?" Kallian replied in a conciliatory tone.

"Fine," she stuck her nose into the air haughtily. "Let's go see the pervert." she said and strode out into the other room.

"Nothing like an open mind..." Kallian mumbled to herself as she followed Shianni out of her – well, Shianni's room.

* * *

**Next time; I'm not entirely sure, school will be starting up again so I'll have less time to write. So update will most likely have even more significant intervals but I am planning on finishing this, Not really sure how yet, but if it looks dead then it's only resting. It can be resuscitated by reviews.**


	5. Kiss

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Fifth**

**Kiss**

**I do not own Dragon age, not even a little bit.**

* * *

They found the alleged pervert chatting amiably over tea with Cyrion, Soris and Valora. Shianni supposed he was sort of good looking for a shem, he lacked the cruel smirk that she thought was mandatory for the upper classes. She supposed if one had to be a sex slave there were worse alternatives.

She caught herself. What was she thinking, reasoning such things about this obvious enemy of all women?

"Aedan, this is my cousin Shianni." introduced Kallian. The redhead noted the use of the pervert's fist name. "Shianni, this is Lord Aedan Cousland. He saved me from prison." _'So don't be a bitch'_ was silently implied.

"Pleased to meet you, m'lord." She lied and curtsied politely.

"It's good to finally meet you. Kallian's told me a lot about you." he started personably, oblivious to the redhead's ire.

"Oh really." she replied flatly.

Aedan chuckled. "Did you really knock out Vaughn with a bottle?"

"Yes, m'lord." she replied dangerously. She would do it to any noble, if it were necessary. Him included.

Aedan missed her implication. He chuckled again. "Vaughn knocked on his ass by a little elf girl, I think I would have payed to see that."

Shianni narrowed her eyes at him. He didn't notice, but Kallian did and shot her a look.

_A bit protective are we?_ Shianni thought.

This exchange went entirely unnoticed by the young lord, who now turned to Kallian. "Did you tell her yet?" He asked his bodyguard.

"Oh, I nearly forgot." She faced her cousin. "The Queen wants you to testify before the Landsmeet."

Shianni's eyes bugged out and her jaw dropped open. She sputtered inarticulately, all thoughts of pervert human lords forgotten. "WHAT! Why me?"

"They want to talk about what happened with Vaughn." Kallian answered cautiously.

"But… Why?"

"Queen Anora wants to put the alienages under royal control. She thinks that Vaughn's...indiscretions -" Aedan started to explain.

Shianni interrupted. "You mean the fact that he was a serial rapist?"

Aedan shifted uncomfortably. "Err...yes." He cleared his throat and continued. "Anyway, she thinks she can make the case that the alienages are being mismanaged." All the elves rolled their eyes and made a sort of 'like, Duh.' noise.

"So what happens after the Landsmeet then?" asked Soris.

"The Queen has asked Aedan to take over." Kallian said proudly.

Shianni was about to make a cutting remark about Aedan making all the elves wear skimpy outfits when Valora interrupted her. "Oh thank the Maker!" All eyes turned to the normally quiet girl.

Aedan was the first to break the odd silence. "Um...Hello...?"

"Valora, m'lord. Formerly of Highever alienage." She stood up and curtsied nervously, then turned to her fellow elves. "I didn't want to say anything but this place is awful. Lord Aedan helped make Highever a place for elves to be proud of! And he can do the same here!" She turned to him with pleading eyes. "Right m'lord?"

"Um, er..." he was a bit flustered at being complimented so openly. "Well I'll try my best, but it really depends on how the Landsmeet goes."

Everyone looked at Shianni, who gulped nervously.

Aedan looked out the window and noticed it was starting to get dark. "Oh, it's getting a bit late, we should probably get moving."

"Um, yeah." Kallian agreed reluctantly. It wasn't a good idea for humans to be out in the alienage after dark. She said her goodbyes to her family and they headed back toward the coach.

"Why aren't there any lights?" Aedan asked when they were alone.

"Elves have better night vision than humans." she explained. "Also oil is expensive."

They continued along for a while until they heard a menacing click from a nearby shadow. "Stand and deliver, shem."

"What?" asked Aedan, who had never been robbed before.

"Hand over all your valuables and maybe the girl too." the voice elaborated.

Kallian, on the other hand, thought she recognized the voice. "Finn? Is that you?"

"Kallian?" the elf came out of the shadows to get a better look at her. "What are you wearing? You look like a stripper."

"It's a disguise!" she answered hotly. _Seriously, what was with everyone!_

The elf cocked his head. "Why are you disguised as a stripper?"

"I'm NOT a stripper!" she protested.

He shrugged, unconvinced. "If you say so." he paused. "I thought I heard you was dead?"

"Almost." she gestured towards Aedan. "He saved me."

"Why, some kind of elf fetishist? That would explain the outfit." Finn grinned.

Even in the dark Aedan could see her blush.

"Would you please drop it?" She, of course, referred to his obsession with her outfit.

Finn leered, deliberately misunderstanding her. "Only if you go first, love."

"Finn!"

"Only joking, well, it's nice catching up and all but I've still got work to do. People aren't going to rob themselves." He nodded at Aedan "Have a nice evening sir."

They walked along in silence for awhile.

"Aedan?" Kallian finally found her voice.

He read her mind. "We'll find you some less embarrassing armor in the morning."

0-0

When they returned to the estate Elle was waiting for them.

"Take off those muddy boots before you come in. Dinner will be ready in about a half an hour so go clean yourselves up."

Aedan turned to Kallian. "I'll see you in a bit then."

"Okay." she responded. As she began to walk towards her room Elle grabbed her by the arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Um...to my room?" Kallian deadpanned, wondering what was up with the maid now.

"No, that room is Lady Elissa's, you were staying there as a guest." Elle rolled her eyes. "Now you're Aedan's bodyguard and therefore an employee."

"Oh." Kallian nodded her understanding. "So where's my room now?"

"Just follow me." Elle led her off in the same direction that Aedan had gone. There was a very good reason for that.

"Um...isn't this Aedan's room?" Kallian asked hesitantly once they arrived at their destination.

"Yep, as his bodyguard you are to be with him at all times, awake or asleep." The maid grinned at her.

Kallian blushed at the thought of sleeping with Aedan. "S-sleep?" She stuttered.

"Yep!" Elle grinned suggestively. "It's your duty."

"Um, er..." She was unable to form coherent sentences.

The maid watched her face twitch for awhile before deciding to let the girl off the hook. "Not in the same room of course, that would be improper."

Kallian signed with relief and ignored the small part of her that was disappointed.

Elle opened the door revealing a sort of sitting room, with some comfortable looking chairs surrounding a low table. At the back of the room were two large double doors she assumed led to the main bed chamber. In the left wall opposite a medium sized fireplace was a much less ornate door. Elle went to that door and opened it.

"You'll sleep in here."

Kallian walked through the door into a small but comfortable bedroom, it was about half the size of her room at home but much better furnished. She noticed a pile of clothes laying on the bed.

"Um, are those...dresses?" She turned to the maid apprehensively.

Elle nodded in a familiar but disturbing way.

Kallian gulped. She recognized that look. The maid wanted to play with her life sized elven barbie again. "Er..." was all she managed to say before the woman pounced.

0-0

Aedan straightened his jacket as he walked out of his room. It was a bit silly but he enjoyed dressing up for dinner, even it was just him and Kallian. From the noises he had heard while he was getting ready Elle had decided to help her dress. He smiled fondly at his maid's antics, she had always wanted a daughter. Kallian stumbling out of her room interrupted him from his thoughts. He caught her just before she fell over.

"Are you alright?"

"Y-yes M'lord just-" She tried to take a step and nearly fell over again. Aedan grabbed her shoulder to hold her steady and was hit by a wave of her perfume, a kind of smokey, exotic scent that sent distressing signals to his animal hind-brain.

"Oh, these damned shoes!" she grumbled. "Thank you m'lord."

"Not used to heels?" he remarked.

"Bloody useless things. They pinch my toes too." Aedan wondered why she was wearing them at all. Then he glimpsed Elle lingering in Kallian's doorway. _Ah,_ he thought, his maid could be surprisingly scary when she wanted to.

Kallian had continued complaining but he had stopped paying attention. She looked especially lovely in that dress, Elle had chosen well. It was emerald green to match her eyes and set off her pale complexion wonderfully. It clung to her in all the right places and was rather low cut, exposing her generous cleavage.

"I don't think I'll be able to walk on my own." she reluctantly admitted. "Um... could you...?"

He held out the crook of his arm for her to hold on to.

"Thank you." She smiled gratefully.

Aedan was surprised how warm she felt so close to him. "W-well then, shall we?"

Kallian wobbled a bit before nodding her head in agreement. "Yes, lets."

They slowly made their way to the dining room

0-0

Aedan had been unusually quiet during dinner, Kallian wondered if something was bothering him as they walked back to their rooms.

"Aedan," she asked, once again hanging off his arm in an attempt to keep her balance in the horrible shoes. "Are you okay? You seem...distracted."

"What?" He looked up quickly from where his eyes had been lingering. She suspected he was looking down her cleavage. Much to her surprise this didn't bother her as much as it did when other people did it. After all it was a very 'hey, look at my boobs' kind of dress.

"I asked if you were feeling okay. You were awfully quiet during dinner."

"I'm fine, I just have a lot on my mind with the Queen and the alienages and everything."

"Oh, okay." She lowered her hear demurely and felt a bit silly that she assumed he was distracted by her.

"Here we are." he announced suddenly. They were standing in front of her door.

"Er, yes." She reluctantly disengaged herself from Aedan's side, suddenly feeling a bit colder. After a while she noticed he was still looking at her. She looked back into his eyes and they simultaneously moved closer together. It was like their bodies were being controlled by some outside force. Her eyes opened wide as he moved his face down towards her only to close them and purse her lips in anticipation. He kissed her softly and gently on the lips. Kallian felt like she never had before, sort of light and heavy at the same time, why was she letting him do this? Why wasn't she shoving him away like the pushy customers at the Pearl? Did she actually want this? Overwhelmed by all the unfamiliar feelings she barely noticed the quiet whimper she let loose as the kiss ended.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I'll just..." Before she could say anything he was gone and she was standing there alone.

0-0

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Aedan thought. Why had he done that? They were just starting to trust one another and he had thrown it all away for a cheap thrill. She's going to think that this was his plan the whole time. It was a disaster. Aedan sat on his bed with his head in his hands. Not that he hadn't enjoyed at the time. Kissing Kallian had definitely been the highlight of his day but once he had stopped thinking with his groin he realized what a huge mistake it was.

There was a knock on the door. "Aedan?" It was her. "I know you're in there."

He remained silent.

"Look," she continued. "It's okay, I'm not mad or anything." she paused. "It was...nice." Then there was a longer pause. "Well, um, I'm gonna go to bed now so I'll be in my room if you wanna, y'know, talk or anything, Okay?"

Her waited for several minutes for her to leave before releasing the breath he'd been holding. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

**That didn't take as long as I thought it would. **

**Also, does anyone know how many...um, arlings? There are in Ferelden? I know they say when they do the vote at the lands-meet but I kind of, um, sold my copy of the game so I can't go back and check. I already tried Dragon wiki and didn't see anything relevant, so if someone could get back to me on that I would greatly appreciate it.**


	6. Reciprication

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-Warmer**

**Chapter the Sixth:**

**Reciprocation**

**I still don't own Dragon age. I do however, own a Volkswagen, which is almost the same thing.**

* * *

Kallian awoke reluctantly.

"Wha?" she said blinking owlishly.

A churlish voice interrupted her half-formed question. "Maker, you're a heavy sleeper. I thought I was going to have to get the cold water."

"...Elle?" she answered groggily. "What...time is it?"

"Well past time for you to be awake." The maid stated disapprovingly. "It's a servant's duty to be up before her master." Lectured the experienced domestic.

Kallian, less than remorseful, groaned and buried herself under the covers.

"Now, none of that." Elle scolded. With a determined frown she took a firm hold of the blankets and quickly jerked them away, exposing Kallian to the morning sun. To which she responded by wrapping her pillow around her head.

Elle let loose a frustrated growl at this act of willful defiance and smacked the lazy elf hard on her posterior.

"OOOOOWWWW!" Kallian wailed, now fully awake. "That really hurt!" she rubbed the affected area.

Elle shrugged off her junior's complaints. "His lordship is waiting with breakfast. We shouldn't make him wait any longer."

"Oh," Kallian replied with a yawn already feeling sleepy again. "Alright."

She Crawled out of bed, exiting her small bedroom into the main area of Aedan's chambers where the young lord waited with breakfast.

"Ah, there you a-" Aedan's cheerful greeting stopped short. He averted his eyes and coughed awkwardly.

Kallian cocked her head to one side, confused. "What?"

"You're a bit, um, under-dressed." Aedan muttered to his feet.

She looked down at herself. She was wearing a short, sheer shift that left her shoulders bare and came down to about mid-thigh. She had been surprised to find it in her dresser the previous night along with several outfits that just happened to be in her size. She suspected it was Elle's doing.

"What?" she repeated. "It covers about as much as that armor, maybe a little more..."

"It's different," Aedan countered. "That was armor, this...isn't." he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

She gave him an incredulous look, then shrugged, how was she to argue with that? "Um...okay." she went back into her room.

Watching her go, Aedan had to force himself to stop picturing Kallian's legs. He had just about gotten a handle on it when she reentered the room wearing a robe.

"Is that better?" She asked with a sarcastic roll of her eyes.

"Quite." The matter settled she turned her attention to the food.

"Ooo! Muffins!" she cooed excitedly. She quickly split, buttered and consumed one with great relish.

Aedan chuckled fondly. Kallian always ate like someone was going to come and snatch away her food if she didn't finish fast enough. "Slow down, it's better when you can actually taste it."

The elf paused mid-chew, flushing in embarrassment. "Sormy." she apologized around a mouthfull.

Aedan sighed and resumed eating.

0-0

On Aedan's advice, Kallian was eating a bit more slowly now. He was right, she decided, it was better when you could taste the food. It was different than in the alienage, where not being able to taste what you were eating was often a plus.

She jumped when she felt something brushing up against her leg. She shot a suspicious glance at Aedan. He was casually sipping his tea while looking at some documents. She dismissed it with a small shake of her head. Then it happened again. She shot Aedan another look. He was still reading. Confused she peered under the table.

"Meow." It was a cat. A very large cat. It came up almost to her knee. Apart from it's great size it appeared to be a normal gray tabby. It looked up at her with its enormous yellow eyes and meowed again.

"Um, Aedan?"

"Hm?" He looked up from his papers.

She pointed under the table. He ducked his head under it for a minute. Then quickly jerked back and knocked his head on the table when he realized that her dress had ridden up and he could clearly see her panties

"Oh," he commented _She didn't want you to look there. She was asking about the cat. She didn't want you to see… _. He continued on with his face showing no indication that anything was amiss."He's back."

"Isn't this your cat?"

"Not really, I don't think he belongs to anybody, he just shows up here from time to time." The animal moved over to see if Aedan would give him some food. He scratched its head. "He's quite friendly though. I think the someone's been feeding him." Speculated Aedan loftily while simultaneously giving it a bit of biscuit, which the beast devoured greedily. "I have no idea who it could be."

"Yes," commented Elle, just clearing away the used dishes. "His lordship has a habit of picking up strays."

"Er..." Kallian fidgeted nervously.

"It usually turns out for the best though." The maid continued, pointedly ignoring her discomfort. As she left the room, she muttered. "That one's a devil for catching mice."

Still feeling uncomfortable, Kallian tentatively reached down to pet the outsized feline, they didn't have a lot of cats in the alienage, people tended to eat them, and anything else with a bit of meat on it.

"Um, nice kitty?" she scratched it under it's chin. The cat started purring and jumped up into her lap.

Kallian continued stroking it's fur. Thinking, she had lain awake the previous night exploring her feelings for the unconventional nobleman. She thought she might have something for him; she wasn't going to say she loved him; it was much too early for that. But he was kind. He didn't treat her like she was "just an elf" he saved her life after all, not that she was doing this out of a sense of obligation, well not entirely at least. And last of all she had always been curious what it would be like to be with a human, you heard things when you worked at a brothel.

Aedan felt an irrational stab of jealousy towards the innocent creature, Kallian had such an enraptured look on her face as she petted the stray. Eventually the animal got up and left to do whatever important cat things it had to do that day. He wondered what that might be. Chasing mice? Beating up on other cats? Spraying urine on things? It boggled the mind.

"So," she started, breaking him out of his thoughts. "What are we doing today?"

"Well, we need to see Master Wade about your armor, but apart from that I can't think of anything."

"Then I guess we can talk, um," Kallian lowered her eyes deferentially, "about last night."

"Ah...yes, that." Aedan colored slightly and looked away. He had been hoping she had forgotten about it.

"Yes, That." Kallian answered with a bit of an edge to her voice.

"Once again I must apologize for assuming..." He trailed off, noticing the look on her face

"So you're saying you made a mistake?" For a moment, Aedan thought he saw hurt flicker in her eyes.

"Um..." he dithered.

"Well, I refuse to accept your apology! You need to take responsibility for your actions!" She proclaimed boldly.

Aedan's face took on a befuddled expression. "What are you...?"

Kallian sighed in exasperation. "Look, just close your eyes."

He shrugged and did as she asked.

So Kallian got up from her chair, walked over to Aedan and sat down in his lap, draped her arms over his shoulders and kissed him on the lips.

To say Aedan was surprised would be a gross understatement. Kallian giggled at his completely gobsmacked expression. "But, what, how, why...?"

She silenced him with another kiss. As she started to pull away his hand came up to the back of her head and gently but firmly held her in place. She let loose a pleased sigh as he started to kiss her back.

Eventually they needed to breathe.

Before they could proceed to other, related activities there came a knock at the door.

The couple were instantly back on opposite sides of the table, slightly red and out of breath. After a few seconds Elle entered the room with an armful of laundry and eyed them suspiciously.

"What's going on?" She asked curiously

The Lord and his bodyguard tried to look nonchalant.

"Nothing," started Aedan smoothly. "Why do you-"

"We weren't kissing!" Kallian blurted.

Aedan face palmed.

0-0

As Kallian had warned Shianni the royal guard did show up on the Tabris' doorstep the following morning.

However in a surprising show of sensitivity Anora had only sent one female guard. Ser Mhiri waited patiently as her redheaded charge gawked at the palace interior.

"It's so big!" commented the awed elf.

"Everybody says that." replied the lady knight.

"Must be true then." Shianni reasoned.

Mhiri conceded the point with a shrug. "Are you finished being impressed? We _do_ have a schedule here you know."

"What?" Shianni replied, she hadn't been paying attention. Then it sunk in. "Oh, alright..."

She followed Mhiri down a corridor, past the kitchens and into a sort of dorm type area where Queen Anora was waiting with a medium sized group of elven women.

"You didn't think you were the only one, did you?" Her escort explained at Shianni's surprised expression.

She felt a bit stupid for thinking just that. "No, not at all." she replied with a completely straight face.

"Ah, here she is." The queen finally noticed them. "Everyone, everyone, pay attention!" the women, (well, girls, really) immediately stopped whatever they were doing and faced the Queen. She gestured for Shianni to come over next to her. The elf reluctantly obeyed.

"Girls, this is Shianni." she introduced.

"Hello, Shianni." they chorused.

_The Queen knows my name! _She thought before turning to regard the group. They were all variations on the theme of 'young and pretty' Shianni at the ripe old age of twenty was probably the oldest one here. She sketched a rough curtsy in greeting.

The Queen started speaking again. "I'll leave you all to get acquainted, and remember, if anyone asks you're my new ladies-in-waiting." With that she swept regally from the room.

Shianni noticed that two of the girls were approaching her. They were quite the mismatched pair. One was short, even for an elf, with a babyish, round face topped with a mane of blond ringlets tied back into pigtails by pink ribbons, keeping with the theme was a frilly pink dress of the kind normally fond only in certain kinds of stories about mushroom princesses and plumbers.. Her companion, in contrast was quite tall, once again, for an elf (let's say about 5'7") had an angular face framed by a shock of cropped black hair. She was dressed in worker's breeches and a sleeveless top that accentuated her toned biceps and deeply tanned skin.

"Hi-yeee!" welcomed the short one. "My name is Melody but everyone calls me Mel." she continued speaking at a rapid, excited pace. The hyper girl gestured forcefully toward her partner. "And this is my bestest best friend in the whole wide world, Tasha." The tall one nodded in acknowledgment and grunted. "She doesn't talk much. Anyway, welcome to Rape Camp!"

Shianni tilted her head to the side, she couldn't have heard that right. "Did you say...?"

"Rape Camp!" the diminutive blond repeated cheerfully.

"Why-"

"Because that's what it is!"

"You're very...enthusiastic about it." Shianni awkwardly stated

Why shouldn't I be? It's fun!" Melody paused in thought for a moment. "Well, not the actual rape," she frowned and a haunted look passed over her features. "That was..." she shuddered. "But getting to stay here at the castle is really neat!" her obnoxious cheer returned full force. "It's like a sleepover!

Tasha nodded in agreement.

Shianni sighed. She'd never liked sleepovers.

0-0

The bells above the door tinkled as Aedan and Kallian entered Wade's emporium.

"Ah, Lord Cousland, so good to see you again." Greeted the man behind the counter.

"Is Master Wade available, my bodyguard needs some armor."

"Well if you have him come in I'm sure we can put together something for him."

"She's right here." he motioned towards Kallian.

The man sent him a dubious look. "Bodyguard, right."

Before Kallian could correct the man's assumption with a quick beating, they were interrupted.

"Herren, don't take any more orders for today, I can feel one of my heads coming on."

"Wade," Herren replied in a warning voice. "Lord Cousland is here to place an order."

"Oh, how dreary. I suppose I can see what he wants."

"Wonderful." Herren sighed, shaking his head

"Er, I wanted some armor for my bodyguard." Aedan repeated gesturing again towards Kallian, who gave a little wave.

Wade stared at her, enraptured.

"What?" she asked nervously, after a moment. "Is there something on my face?"

Wade just kept staring. He was making her uncomfortable. Even Aedan was starting to get annoyed.

"Herren, cancel all my other appointments, I have found my muse." then he turned to Kallian. "It would be a privilege to create armor for such a wondrous creature"

"Um...Okay?" She replied sending Aedan a nervous look.

0-0

Kallian admired her new armor. The inscribed leather was so well fitted it felt as if she wasn't wearing it at all. The crest of Highever embossed on the breastplate gave her a sense of being owned, but in a good way, like she was part of something. It felt pretty good.

"Oi! Elf!" she turned to regard sergeant Cartwright, the grizzled leader of Aedan's Guards. "Shouldn't you be guarding Lord Aedan, elf?"

"He's, er, in the bath." she pointed her thumb at the door behind her.

"Good, I wanted a chance to talk to you."

Kallian raised an eyebrow.

"Now, I don't like elves," She frowned, where was this going? "But then I don't like humans or dwarves very much either," he shrugged. "So I guess that's fair."

"Um..." She fumbled, at a loss for words.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I _do _like Lord Cousland. So do your damned job alright, elf." He extended a hand, she took it ,shakeing it tentatively.

"Right." he said gruffly and walked away.

Kallian was confused, was that supposed to be an...apology? "Hey!" she called after him.

"What?"

"My name's not 'elf'" she grinned at him, "It's Kallian."

He grinned back. "I'll remember that." he replied and continued on his way.

She guessed it was.

0-0

Later that night in his chambers, beneath the glow of a magic lighting crystal Aedan toiled on the endless paperwork that seemed to take up so much of his time. He was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in." he replied, distractedly.

Kallian entered the room, she was dressed for bed once again in her short shift. "Are you still working?" she asked incredulously. She'd always thought one of the advantages of being a lord was that you only had to work as much as you wanted to.

He grunted, his attention back on the documents.

"Aedan, go to bed, it will still be there in the morning."

"Can't sleep." he muttered.

"Why not?"

"Don't know, sometimes I just can't."

"Maybe I can help?"

"How?"

"Well first I do this." She walks up behind him and starts kneading his shoulders.

"That's nice." He commented after a few minutes.

"There's more, but I need you to lie down."

"Hmm, alright." He gets out from behind his desk and goes over to his bed, a large canopy type with an elaborately carved headboard. "Face up or face down?"

"Face down please, oh and could you take off your shirt?"

He raises his eyebrow at her.

Kallian blushes and gets flustered. "It just works better on bare skin." she said defensively.

Aedan's eyebrow only climbed closer to his hairline. "Uh-huh."

"Look, do you want me to do this or not?"

"Okay, okay." He removed his shirt and lay down on the bed, resting his chin on his forearms. "Like this?"

"Yes." she gave him a appreciative glance and then got up on the bed and straddled his thighs. Then she proceeded to work the muscles in his lower back. He murmured in appreciation.

"That's really good."

"Something one of the girls at the Pearl taught me. I've only done it on my father before, he's got a trick back."

"What else did you learn there?"

"Oh, all kinds of interesting things, I haven't gotten to try most of them out yet though."

"Something for me to look forward to then." Kallian blushed and remained silent.

She continued with her ministrations for awhile before she noticed something familiar.

"I know I've seen that headboard somewhere before..."

"Hmm?" Aedan looked up at it. "Oh, I think it's one of your father's pieces."

Now that she had been reminded she recognized her father's style immediately. Kallian hummed in agreement, pushing out thoughts of what her father would think.

Thankfully, Aedan provided distraction. "How is it that you're not working for him? As an apprentice or something." Well, sort of.

She gave a resigned sigh. "No talent for it, I only have to _look_ at a piece of wood and it splits."

"I'm surprised, You're quite good with your hands, I'm feeling much more relaxed."

Kallian leaned down and kissed him on the back of the neck. "Not too relaxed I hope."

Aedan chuckled. "It depends what you have in mind." He could feel her breasts press into him as she embraced him from behind.

"It's just that it's a bit cold in my room."

Subtlety was lost on Aedan. "Do you want to borrow a blanket?"

"I thought you might be cold too." she flirtatiously whispered in his ear.

"No, I feel fine." He still wasn't getting it.

"Are you sure? I could help warm your bed."

Aedan frowned in thought. "What do you-Oh!" It finally sunk in. "It _is_ a bit chilly now that you mention it." He rolled over so that she was now in his lap. They kissed and embraced one another.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. "Lord Cousland! An urgent message from Highever!"

Kallian immediately jumped off her employer and rapidly scanned the room for somewhere to hide.

Aedan motioned for her to hide under the bed, thinking what a cliche' it was she did.

Aedan got up and quickly put his shirt back on, much to Kallian's disappointment, and answered the door.

"Yes?"

"Sorry, I didn't wake you did I?" asked the concerned messenger.

"No, no, I was just doing the accounts." He wanted to get rid of this man and get back to what he was doing. He thought he could hear snickering coming from somewhere around his ankles. "Now what's so damned important?" The messenger was familiar enough with Aedan to know that he very rarely swore. He had definitely interrupted something. Without further preamble he handed Aedan the message, saluted, turned and quickly left before he got yelled at.

Aedan read the message, paled and sat down heavily on the bed. Kallian crawled back out from under it to look curiously over his shoulder. "What is it?"

A look of doom crossed his face. "My sister is coming for a visit."

* * *

Next time: Ellissa!

This might take awhile...


	7. Visit

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Seventh**

**Visit**

**No, I _STILL_ don't own Don't own Dragon Age, what's up with that?**

* * *

Kallian sat quietly on the pew beside Aedan as they attended the weekly chantry service. Kallian, like nearly all city elves worshiped the Maker and Andraste. But she had always felt a bit guilty about it. She was an elf after all, she should worship...trees or...something. It all got a bit vague at that point, so she just buried the feeling and kept going to the Chantry.

At least the music was nice.

Especially this week. Some red-headed woman from someplace out in the sticks called...Loathing? Something like that anyway. She had a very good voice. The song came to an end with enthusiastic applause which stopped abruptly as the Grand Cleric acceded to the pulpit.

"Thank you, Sister Leliana, for that uplifting rendition." The Sister, Leliana as the Cleric had called her, took a bow and moved off to the side.

The Elderly Cleric began the main sermon and Kallian started tuning her out in favor of her own thoughts. It had been three days since they had received word of Elissa's visit, and Aedan had been a bit...off. Restless, rushing about the estate like a newlywed whose mother-in-law was coming to dinner. It would have been funny if she wasn't so concerned.

It took her forever to get him to go to bed and when he did he slept restlessly, tossing and turning, she tried her best to relax him with her admittedly limited knowledge of massage before reluctantly returning to her room. Every time it got a little harder not to join him but she didn't feel quite ready for that just yet. Soon, perhaps. But not right now. Maybe after his sister's visit had come and gone...

The Old woman had finally stopped talking and the audience was starting to file out. Kallian woke the dozing Aedan with a discreet elbow in the ribs.

"Hm? Oh, it's over." he stated fuzzily.

The Grand Cleric was making her way over to them. "Greetings Lord Cousland."

"Inspiring as always Grand Cleric."

"And as always, Lord Cousland, you are a terrible liar." She turned to Kallian. "Aren't you going to introduce your companion?"

"Oh, how rude of me. Your Grace, allow me to introduce my bodyguard, Kallian Inri."

The young rogue nodded a silent greeting, keeping up her stoic persona.

The Old woman gasped in recognition.

"Your Grace?" Aedan asked, concerned. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

"No, no, your companion bears a striking resemblance to one of our parishioners. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were twins." The Priest eyed Kallian suspiciously. The elf kept a blank face but started to sweat nervously. It was times like this that she wished she knew more elvish, then at least she could pretend she didn't speak Ferelden.

"You must be mistaken, Your Grace." Aedan attempted to play the innocent. "Miss Inri has only recently arrived from Highever."

The old woman stared intently at Kallian for a few minutes. "Yes, I must be getting old, eyes playing tricks on me." She gave Aedan a knowing smile. "Good day to you m'lord." She said as she left.

Kallian let loose the breath she hadn't been aware of holding.

"She knows." Interjected Aedan.

"Do we need to worry?" Questioned his concerned companion.

Aedan shot another glance at the Grand Cleric's retreating back. "I hope not."

0-0

When they returned to the estate Elle was noisily supervising a number of servants Kallian had never seen before.

"That's how good they are." The maid replied cryptically when asked. She couldn't argue with the results, the house was immaculate.

Unlike herself, Kallian reflected, looking down at her dusty clothing. "Um..." She felt covered in dirt in comparison.

"Oh, stop," chided Elle. "Come on, I've run you a bath, think you can manage it yourself this time?"

"I might need some help with the makeup." she admitted.

Elle raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't bother with that this time. Rough, tough bodyguards don't wear makeup."

"Oh," Kallian sighed, she kind of liked the makeup, it made her feel pretty.

"You don't really need it anyway." The maid reassured her.

Kallian, uncomfortable with praise decided to change the subject. "What's Lady Elissa like anyway?"

Elle paused to collect her thoughts. "Er..." It was the first time Kallian had ever seen the maid at a loss for words. "Elissa is...Elissa is...unique."

_What did that mean?_ She thought. "That's not very helpful."

"Yeah, well, you'll understand when you meet her, which shouldn't be too far off. Now go get cleaned up!" She pushed Kallian off in the direction of the baths.

The young rogue took the hint and continued in that direction.

_The nobility sure take a lot of baths _she thought to herself as she stripped off before getting in the tub. _There must be some kind of magic keeping the water warm,_ she continued to speculate. It was quite pleasant truthfully, without Elle doing...whatever it was she did last time she had been in this room. The young elf frowned, that whole incident was still a bit fuzzy. Kallian finished washing and got redressed, gave her armor a quick cleaning and checked her hair in the mirror.

Time to meet Elissa.

0-0

A carriage pulled up to the front of the Cousland estate. Aedan, Kallian, Elle, Dobson, Cartwright and the aforementioned unnamed servants stood in greeting of the vehicle's occupant. Kallian was in her 'stoic elf bodyguard' persona that she used whenever she and Aedan were out in public, but underneath her armor she was sweating bullets.

The coach's door opened and a woman, accompanied by a Mabari war hound stepped out.

The first thing the elven rogue noticed about her was her size, she was huge! Not fat, everything was in proportion, just built on a slightly larger scale. She wore casual breeches and what looked like a man's hunting shirt. From the way she moved Kallian could tell she had the physique and training of a warrior but somehow remained unmistakeably feminine. She gracefully ascended the stairs and embraced Aedan in a bone-crunching hug. Lifting him into the air slightly.

"Little brother!" she put him back down and held him at arms length. "It's been too long!"

"Hello Elissa." he replied in a resigned voice. "We're the same age."

"No, I was born an hour earlier so you are my _little_ brother." she replied in a voice that declared the matter settled. It felt like an old argument to Kallian. Elissa turned to regard those gathered to greet her. "Hello Mrs. Russel, you look well."

"Thank you milady." replied Elle in an uncharacteristic formal voice.

"Ah," she noticed Kallian. "A new addition." She regarded the much smaller elf, Kallian was struggling not to fidget under the scrutinizing gaze. "She's adorable Aedan, wherever did you find her?"

_Fort Drakon_, he thought but didn't say. "You know, around." he lied unconvincingly.

Elissa raised a knowing eyebrow, but continued as if she believed him. As if she would fall for that. They _had_ grown up together after all. And Aedan _was_, as the Grand Cleric had said, a horrible liar.

"Well?" She demanded imperiously.

Lost in his relief, Aedan jumped. "What?"

"Aren't you going to introduce us?" Had she been untrained in etiquette, Elissa would have been tapping her foot.

"Oh, right. Elissa, this is Kallian Inri, my new bodyguard, Miss Inri, this is my sister Lady Elissa Cousland." Aedan said, slightly flustered by the formality.

Kallian, unsure what the proper response was bowed her head and raised a closed fist to her chest as she had seen Aedan's guards do.

That must have been the right thing to do because Elissa nodded slightly in return and looked down at diminutive elf. "I assume you can use those?" she indicated the daggers at Kallian's waist.

"Of course milady!" she replied indignantly.

Elissa ignored the breech in etiquette and shot Kallian a predator grin. "Perhaps you would be so good as to join me for a spar later. Can't let an inferior fighter guard little Aedan, can I?"

"Hey!" 'little' Aedan protested. "Who are you calling little?"

"Well you're shorter than me." teased his sister.

"By a half inch." he grumbled back.

"An inch is as good as a mile." she shot back smugly.

Aedan couldn't think of anything to say to that so he responded in the way of younger siblings everywhere: he sulked.

Kallian could barely contain her grin, he looked so cute.

"Well, sorry to be rude but it has been a long journey and I'd like a bit of a lie down before supper." Elissa declared.

That snapped him out of his funk. "Oh, of course. Elle?"

The maid stepped forward. "This way, milady."

The group dispersed, leaving Aedan and Kallian to themselves.

He tilted his head in question.

Kallian shrugged. "She seems okay, I don't see why you were so worried."

"Mmm." He grunted.

0-0

Shianni was bored.

It didn't help that her roommates unending slumber party was starting to get on her nerves. This enforced idleness wore on her, she needed to be _doing_ something.

At home there were all sorts of thing to keep her busy. Her uncle was a fine craftsman but at best a mediocre businessman. Soris, her brother and Cyrion's apprentice, wasn't any better, perhaps even slightly worse. She was willing to bet that they were, at that very moment, conspiring to do something stupid. Hopefully Valora could keep them from hurting themselves too badly.

She had taken to roaming the castle when her fellow victims got to be too much for her.

Today she found herself at the archery range. She stopped to look around a bit. She used to be quite good with a bow. Kallian's mother had tried to teach them all a little something. Like all elves Shianni had a natural affinity for the bow.

Well, almost all elves. Kallian had no talent with the weapon whatsoever, the only thing she had ever successfully hit with one was her own foot.

She noticed that someone had left their bow behind. After checking to see if anyone was around she picked it up and notched an arrow, pulled it back and sighted along her arm like she'd been taught, then released the arrow.

Hmm, three inches off center, she was out of practice.

"That's not bad." a voice commented from behind her. Shianni turned to regard the speaker, Ser Mhiri. The lady knight was in charge of the protection of the elven witnesses. Shianni made a face and grunted. She got along okay with the guard, they had similar no-nonsense personalities.

"I see they got to you" The elf gestured to the knight's braided hair.

"I let them do my nails too." Mhiri added guiltily. "I don't get to do girly things in the guard." she explained, a bit embarrassed.

Shianni just grinned, notching another arrow.

0-0

"Um...could you pass the peas?" Kallian asked the elf next to her. Because of Elissa's visit she couldn't eat with Aedan like she normally would so she was having her dinner down in the servant's quarters with a bunch of people she had never seen before. They all bore a striking resemblance to Elle. Apparently everyone who worked here was related to the maid in some way. The man next to her handed her a dish, she scraped some of the small legumes onto her plate, letting the conversation of the room roll right over her. She was interrupted by a small androgynous child tugging at her elbow.

"Are you Lord Aedan's girlfriend?" Kallian choked on her food in surprise.

"Poppy, don't be rude." chastised an old woman Kallian thought was Elle's mother. "A young lady doesn't discus such things at the table."

"Okay grandma." replied the contrite child.

Kallian sighed in relief, she wasn't sure of the answer herself.

0-0

Meanwhile Aedan was upstairs eating dinner with his sister.

"So how are things in Highever?"

"Quite well, everyone is excited about the wedding."

"Oh yes, I had almost forgotten, how is Broody McAngstypants anyway? I thought you two were joined at the hip these days."

"Nathan is attending to some matters with his father."

"You mean," He paused dramatically. "Lord Rendon Howe?" With that his sister's Mabari, Dane, who had been up to that moment been sitting quietly, released a long mournful howl. The stray cat, who had been stalking the aforementioned mabari, and coincidentally hoping to mooch some food hissed loudly and hid under some furniture.

Aedan sent his sister a smug grin.

Elissa glared back. "That's not funny. The man was cursed by a witch."

By his smile it was clear that Aedan disagreed.

Elissa scowled back at him before breaking into a dangerous smile and quickly changing the subject.

"Your little friend is certainly interesting." she stopped to take a bite of her food. She waited until her brother had started taking a drink. "Who would have though such a tiny thing could fight her way through the Arl's guards." Elissa's patience was rewarded by her brother choking and spraying wine all over himself. Revenge was sweet.

"What?" he managed to choke out between coughs.

"Didn't I mention I stopped to see my old school friend Anora on my way here? It seems your little bed-warmer is quite the accomplished murder machine." Her eyes lit with excitement. "I can't wait to fight her."

0-0

Later that evening as Aedan was preparing for bed he heard a gentle knock at his door.

"Yes?"

"Are you decent?"

It was Kallian. "It depends who you ask." he quipped.

"I mean are you dressed?"

"Afraid you'll see something you like?"

"Um...kinda." she answered uneasily.

Aedan relented. "I'm fully clothed."

Kallian cautiously opened the door and stuck her head in. Seeing that all was as he said she walked in shyly. Aedan's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. The blonde elf was wearing a rather revealing two-piece.

"Um...the other one's in the wash." she lied, waiting for his reaction.

Aedan slowly looked her up and down. Kallian blushed and looked at her feet, maybe this wasn't as good an idea as she thought.

"Um..." Aedan concluded.

"I-I could get a robe..." she offered haltingly.

"NO! Er.. I mean, it's fine, don't trouble yourself." he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Kallian grinned and assumed a more confident posture. _He likes what he sees_ she thought in delight.

Aedan took off his shirt in what had become a nightly ritual and lay face down on his bed. As Kallian started to kneed the muscles on his back the young lord started to speak.

"Elissa knows who you are."

She stopped her ministrations and got off of him.

"Aww geez, is this going to be a problem?"

"I don't think so, she was more excited than anything else. She really wants to fight you."

The rogue gave a derisive snort, no pampered princess noble could worry her.

"She competes in tournaments you know. They call her 'Crusher Cousland'"

"She's _that_ Elissa Cousland?"

"Um, how many others are there?"

"Sorry, didn't make the connection until now." Kallian broke into a manic grin. "I get to fight 'Crusher' Cousland!" she bent over and kissed Aedan enthusiastically on the lips. "Wow! This is so awesome!"

Aedan sighed, why didn't he ever meet any _normal_ girls?

It took Kallian a few minutes to calm down and stop dancing around the room.

"Kallian," Aedan started. "Lay down on the bed for a minute, I want to try something."

She did as he asked and gave him an inquiring look.

"Turn over on your stomach."

She did and was a bit surprised when he straddled her hips. "W-what are you doing?" She twisted her upper body around to look at him.

"Just returning the favor."

"O-okay." Still somewhat apprehensive she lay back down. "AAA! Too hard!"

"Oh, sorry, is this better?" Her contented sigh told him it was. After a while the elf started...purring? At least that's what it sounded like to him.

"Kallian?"

"Mmm?"

"Would you like to sleep in here tonight?" he asked tentatively. "We wouldn't have to do anything..."

She yawned and turned back to him. "Okay."

Aedan got off of her and pulled back the blankets then lay down next to the elf. Kallian rolled onto her side and Aedan put her arm around her arranging them into a 'spooning' position. The Elf felt safe and warm in his arms and fell asleep almost instantly. Aedan just looked at her peaceful face until succumbing himself.

* * *

Bit of a filler chapter this time.

Anywhoo next time: a big fight!


	8. Assesment

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the eighth **

**Assessment**

**I do not own dragon age, which is probably for the best really.**

* * *

Aedan drifted awake the next morning quite contentedly. In that blissful half aware state between sleep and true wakefulness, he heard the steady gentle patter of the rain on the window. He felt entirely relaxed and stress free. The young lord opened his eyes to the vision of Kallian's head resting on his chest - and drooling on it a bit. He smiled fondly at her. No need to wake her, he would wait for her to rise on her own.

Alas! The moment was not to last. Just as he had decided to try to go back to sleep there came a loud knock on the chamber door.

"Hm?" he grunted.

"Time for breakfast, brother." Elissa greeted from the other side. She always had been a morning person.

Aedan groaned and tried to get up, only to find that he couldn't: his companion had wrapped her arms around him in her sleep. On its own, it was a rather sweet gesture but one he couldn't appreciate at this time. Pity, that.

"Brother?" His sister reminded him that she was still waiting patiently. For now.

"Kallian." He whispered urgently into her ear whilst prodding the slumbering elf.

"Mhrphle." She groused - and tightened her grip.

Cursing mentally, Aedan reluctantly pried himself out of her arms as gently as possible.

Kallian didn't wake up.

"I'm coming in, like it or not." Elissa informed him, having exhausted her limited supply of patience.

Aedan quickly piled bedclothes on top of the suddenly inconvenient elf in his bed. Just as he completed the task of rendering Kallian invisible, Elissa burst into the room.

"Good morning, brother dear." she greeted in a sing-song voice. Her smile morphed into a frown as she looked searchingly around the room, seemingly failing to find what she sought.

Surprisingly, despite his usual obliviousness, Aedan noticed. "What is it, Elissa?"

She looked disappointed for some reason. "Nothing..." She shook her head. "C'mon, your food's getting cold."

0-0

The siblings sat for several minutes in comfortable silence while partaking of their morning meal in the sitting area between Aedan and Kallian's rooms

"This is really good." The Lady observed, consuming another forkful.

Before Aedan could respond, he heard a door opening behind him. Before him, Elissa's jaw dropped and her eyes widened to epic proportions Sighing in resignation, he turned his head to confirm his suspicions.

Yep, there was Kallian, lurching, zombie-like across the room, her hair sticking out at wild angles and at least two thirds naked in her two piece. He took a moment to admire her tight physique before remembering where he was and who he was with and dropping his head into his hands in embarrassment.

Completely unaware of anything around her the scantily clad elf bumped into her door a few times before remembering how to open it and disappeared into her room.

"Go ahead." He muttered and looked up at his sister and awaited his impending doom.

"I KNEW IT!" She proclaimed victoriously, standing up out of her chair, then she grinned like a cat that had not only eaten the canary but the goldfish and the hamster as well. "Aww," she cooed. "Little Aedan's growing up." she patted him condescendingly on the head. "It's about time too, mother was starting to think you were 'that way'."

It was too much to hope that Aedan's insightful streak would last, apparently. He blinked. "What way?"

"THAT way." Elissa gave him a meaningful look.

He shook his head, bewildered. "What?"

"That you played for the other team." She spelled it out.

Or at least she thought she did. Aedan just frowned in confusion. "What 'other team'?"

Impatient and exasperated, Elissa stared at her brother in disbelief. "That you, you know... preferred... men?"

"WHAT!" Aedan spluttered. "How could you th-"

"Oh relax, we know now." She waved off his protests in favor of raising a speculative eyebrow. "Sooo, elves, huh?"

Aedan grimaced. "Don't say it like that."

"Like what?" She blinked.

"Like it's... dirty."

"Aedan," She rolled her eyes. "You're not the first nobleman with an Elven mistress. It's a pretty common fetish."

"It's not a fetish!" He snapped back. "The fact that Kallian's an elf has nothing to do with how I feel about her. I like her because she's Kallian. She just happens to be an elf. I'd feel the same whether she were a human or a dwarf or hell even a qunari."

"That's really very sweet Aedan. I'll try not to hurt her too badly." With that she got up and left the room, leaving a rather concerned Aedan.

0-0

Later that day most of the inhabitants of the estate somehow managed to find some reason to be in position to watch Elissa and Kallian's spar. There was a sense of anticipation in the air as the two combatants entered the courtyard. The Elfin bodyguard was in her new armor and Elissa wore her regular tournament splint-mail. Kallian did some warm-up exercises while Elissa limbered up her sword arm.

"Are you ready?" Inquired the Lady Cousland.

The elf nodded her head stoically and after a quick glance at Aedan, who just happened to be passing by and definitely wasn't there to make sure Kallian didn't get hurt too badly, she walked to the center of the courtyard where Elissa was waiting.

The fighters took their stances. Kallian struck first with a quick jab that Elissa easily blocked with her shield. The elf, with an almost inhuman quickness went for a follow-up with her other dagger but missed completely as the Lady stepped back out of range. They continued like that for awhile, the elf trying increasingly desperate and acrobatic moves to hit the larger woman and Elissa blocking or dodging.

Kallian was starting to get frustrated, _Why won't she fight me?_

Literally seconds after that thought Elissa struck, Only the young elf's quick reflexes kept her from taking a nasty blow to the head. The tall redhead followed up with a shield bash that sent the small elf rolling back across the courtyard, Kallian used the momentum of the blow to roll back up to her feet, just in time to dodge a slash from Elissa.

_It's like she can read my moves. _Marveled the overwhelmed elf. She just may have bitten off more than she could chew.

There was no more time for thought as the Lady Cousland pressed her attack sent her smaller opponent ducking and weaving frantically. Finally, after a particularly vicious thrust Kallian saw an opening.

She spun around the sword tip towards her opponents unprotected side, ducked under a backhanded blow and prepared to strike when she was interrupted by a shield to the face. Caught completely flat-footed and unable to roll with the impact to lessen the force of the blow the elf dropped like a sack of potatoes to the ground. Kallian tried to get back up but couldn't, as the ground went all wobbly.

_Why are there three of her?_ She thought before losing consciousness.

0-0

"...completely uncalled for!"

Kallian regained consciousness to the sound of the siblings arguing.

"Quit being such a baby, she's perfectly fine." Replied the unsympathetic Elissa. "Besides if she can't take a hit she has no business as your bodyguard."

"Um... Hello?" A groggy Kallian interjected. She tentatively prodded her nose. It didn't feel broken, but her hand still came back bloody

Aedan rushed over and Elissa rolled her eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"My head hurts pretty bad, but um...do I know you?"

Aedan stared at her in abject horror. The elf tried to keep the innocent expression on her face but couldn't hold it any longer and dissolved into giggles.

The Lord Cousland felt equal amounts of irritation and relief. His face fell into a woe-is-me pout and she giggled at him some more. It made him look about twelve years old. Kallian took a surreptitious glance over his shoulder to see if Elissa was looking, she wasn't so she gave him a quick reassuring kiss.

"I'm fine."

Aedan gave her a skeptical look and helped her to her feet.

"Well?" he asked over his shoulder to Elissa who had pointedly ignoring the bloody skear on his face.

"She did quite well for an amateur."

Kallian felt like sticking her tongue out at the condescending noble but decided that such an action would be out of character for her stoic persona. Instead she gave a curt nod. Aedan looked like he wanted to say something but remained silent.

0-0

Shianni wasn't sure if she should believe her eyes. The Queen of Ferelden Anora "Ice Queen" Therrin, appeared to be playing dress up and bonding with a bunch of penniless elves.

"No, try the white sleeveless Tasha, it contrasts with your skin and shows off your physique better." The tan elf nodded silently and went back into the dressing room. All of the girls were chattering excitedly whilst dressed in some manner of court finery. "Ah, Shianni, how good of you to join us."

"Er, yes Your Majesty." She hesitated trying to think of a polite way to ask her question. Unable to think of anything she took the direct approach. " Um, what's going on?"

"We're trying on pretty dresses!" interrupted Mel enthusiastically. "It's _super_ fun!"

Melody's dress made the redhead's eyes start to water. It was by far the pinkest, sparkliest, frilliest, most princess-y princess dress ever conceived of by mortal man.

"...Wow." Shianni commented eventually.

"I know, right!" the girl gave a breathy little sigh. "It's just so perfect!" she punctuated the sentence with a delighted squeal before bouncing off after Tasha. Shianni swore the girl only had two settings, 'eleven' and 'off'.

Anora said something that she didn't quite catch. "Pardon me but I couldn't hear you over that dress."

The Queen chuckled softly. "It kind of works though doesn't it?"

"I can't see anyone else wearing it if that's what you mean." she realized she was being a bit over familiar. "Er, your Majesty."

"I told you 'Anora' was fine when it was just us girls."

"Yes you did you highness."

Anora sighed theatrically at the elf's formality. "I said, 'Would you like to try something on?'"

"Oh no, I couldn't..."

"You know you want to."

"I really shouldn't..." she wavered.

"Go ahead, I insist."

Shianni noted to herself that the queen was getting awfully familiar with the elves before grinning slyly.

"Well, if you insist..."

0-0

Kallian was in the bath, sulking. She had never lost a fight before, trying to take her mind off of it she tried to concentrate on the hot water. _These nobles sure know how to live_, she thought, which immediately made her think of Elissa and start to glower.

"Stupid stuck-up noble-" followed by an elven swear word that was less than complementary.

"Well, that didn't sound nice." commented the tall noblewoman as she entered the bathing area.

"Oh, pardon me milady, I'll just-"she started to get up to leave but Elissa stopped her.

"No, stay, I wanted to talk to you anyway."

Kallian sat back down and gulped nervously.

"You did quite well." Elissa commented.

Kallian gave a surly grunt in response.

"Really, especially for someone with no formal training."

The elf supposed she should answer, it was a compliment, kind of. "Thanks" she said halfheartedly.

"Anyway, I thought we should have a talk, just us girls."

Kallian became immediately suspicious. "Okay..." she said warily.

The young Lady Cousland discarded her robe and slid into the water elegantly. "What exactly is your relationship with my brother?"

"I'm his bodyguard." was her matter-of-fact response.

"Do bodyguards normally spend their nights half-naked in their master's chambers?"

Kallian was taken aback but didn't let it show on her face,_ How does she know about that? "_Someone could attack him in his sleep."

"Really, that's your answer?"

"Yes." the elf replied tersely. Unlike her employer she was an excellent liar.

"Hmm." Elissa relented, returning her attention to bathing herself. Kallian wondered if it was okay to leave. She noticed the Lady looking at her in a appraising way, it made her a bit uncomfortable.

"Milady?"

The noble turned her back to the elf and offered her a washcloth over her shoulder. "Oh, just thinking, would you be a dear and scrub my back?"

The elf tentatively took the offered implement and set to work.

"So, what's going on between you and my brother?"

"You asked that already milady, perhaps you should ask him that."

The corners of Elissa's mouth turned up a bit. "Discretion is an admirable quality in a mistress, don't you think?"

_Mistress?_ Kallian thought, _Is that what I am?_ She tried to decide if that was better or worse than 'girlfriend'.

Betraying none of her confusion she answered "If milady says so, it's not my place to speculate on such things."

Frowning slightly the noble gestured for the elf to cease her ministrations.

Kallian got out of the water and bowed to Elissa. "Will there be anything else milady?"

Lady Cousland dismissed her with a wave, the elf left leaving her alone. She grinned slyly to herself. "Well played Miss Tabris."

* * *

**Sorry for taking so long had to work on my final paper for my Roman History class, plus, you know, Mass Effect 3 (What was with that ending?)**

**Oh and my beta has informed me that for some reason she actually want to pass her classes next year and subsequently is unable to work on future chapters so, if anybody wants to volunteer...**


	9. Human bedwarmer

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Ninth**

**Human Bed-warmer**

**If I owned Dragon Age I would probably be wearing pants. I don't own dragon age.**

* * *

Later that night, Aedan was sitting in his bed, reading. Winter had finally come to Denerim, bringing with it a steady supply of snow. He could see it building up against his window. He wondered where Kallian was, normally she'd have visited him by now. There was a knock on the door. _Ah, there she is._ He thought as he got out of his bed to open the door for her. The winter air chilled him somewhat, but it was nothing compared to what one would experience in Highever, so he endured.

"Come in." The young lord was quite surprised when a blurry figure dashed into his room and dove under the covers. "Kallian?" He guessed.

"C-c-c-cold!" shivered the elf underneath the thick blankets.

Aedan raised a wry eyebrow as he climbed back into bed. "Problems? Ack!" he squawked as his freezing visitor promptly set herself in his lap and pulled his heavy blankets all the way up to her nose.

"Mmm…" Kallian sighed contentedly as she laid her head against Aedan's broad chest and wrapped her arms around his warm body, silently thanking the Maker that Aedan didn't wear shirts to bed, not even in the winter. "Problem solved." She smiled dreamily.

After laying there peacefully for several minutes, she remembered something that she wanted to ask him. "Aedan, can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." She shot him a look that said she was not amused. "Go ahead." He relented.

"Am I your mistress?"

If Aedan had been drinking a glass of water he would have sprayed it all over himself. "What? Mistress? Why would… I'm not even going to ask what brought this on." The young lord sighed as he pushed Kallian upright so he could look her in the eye.

She shivered as the cold returned, and wrapped the blankets around herself more tightly, but it was nothing compared to Aedan's warmth.

"Well, am I?" She demanded.

He stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Do you… want to be?"

She shrugged. "I dunno, do I get a special outfit?"

Aedan blinked. He hadn't expected that response. Then again, it was exactly the sort of thing Kallian would say. "I… don't think so. If you wanted one then maybe. I don't really know, I've never had a mistress before. To be perfectly honest, I've never really liked the word to begin with."

"Really, why not?" she asked curiously.

He frowned. "It's not exactly a term of respect, is it?"

"Neither is 'elf'." The girl pointed out apathetically.

Aedan shot her a disapproving look and continued. "I just don't like it. It sounds so...illicit."

"Isn't that kind of the idea?"

Aedan was about to argue, but stopped. He'd never thought of that. "That's actually a fair point." He paused for several seconds before shaking his head. "Still, I don't like it. I'd like to think that there's more to our relationship than just..." He trailed off.

"Sex?" The blond elf interjected with a raised eyebrow.

"...Yes." Now he looked embarrassed.

Kallian rolled her eyes while grinning to herself. He was so repressed, it was actually kind of cute. Working in a brothel had given her a much more liberal attitude towards sexuality, not that she'd necessarily been a prude before.

"Aedan, we haven't even done anything besides make out yet." she reminded him, slightly exasperated.

"I just don't want to do anything either of us aren't ready for."

Kallian shifted herself around so that she was lying in his lap again. "You're a really nice guy, you know that, right? _Too_ nice, sometimes."

Before Aedan could ask her what she meant by that, she kissed him hungrily on the lips. Forgetting whatever he'd been about to say, he returned the kiss with equal force. Kallian gave a pleased sigh when his hands wandered down to grip her bottom. He still wasn't making her scream his name into a pillow, but it was was progress.

0-0

_Dearest Mother and Father,_

_I have arrived in Denerim without incident. Oh, and I have news. Aedan has finally discovered girls! Tell Fergus he owes me twenty sovereigns. Her name is Kallian Inri, he has hired her as his 'bodyguard'. Ha! As if that'd fool me for a second. She seems rather loyal to him, so I doubt she will cause any problems for the family. She's quite a gifted fighter, despite the fact that's she never had any formal training. With the proper instruction she could be quite an asset, I'm considering taking her under my wing, you know how I love a project. Don't start the wedding plans just yet though. She's an elf, unfortunately, but she does seem to be aware of her station, so I don't think it will be a concern._

_All my love;_

_Elissa Cousland_

Elissa sat back in her chair with a sigh of satisfaction. They really didn't need to know about all that stuff with Vaughan, it would just cause them needless worry. Kallian seemed to have put it behind her, so they could too. She rather liked the small elf. There was a lot of potential there. She just needed a bit of polishing, and Elissa was just the woman for the job. When she was done, that elf would be the finest mistress/bodyguard in all of Ferelden! Even if she couldn't think of any others, it was the principal of the idea. Only the best for House Cousland.

She was interrupted by a yelping mabari running into her room and hiding behind her, followed by a very large and very angry gray tabby. The massive feline gave a final warning hiss before pointedly strutting away with it's tail in the air.

"Told you so." she remarked to the cringing canine.

0-0

It was no secret that Shianni liked alcohol. So when Ser Mhiri had offered to share her recently acquired bottle of Dragon's Breath whiskey, it should come as no surprise that the red-headed elf had eagerly accepted.

"This is... pretty... good stuff." she noted after her third glass. By her sixth glass she was singing unselfconsciously to herself in elvish, completely butchering the graceful song with her slurred speech as she did so. Even when a drunk was singing it though, the message of the song was still clear. It was a sad lilting tune that carried an almost tangible sense of loss, of precious things carelessly wasted.

"That's beautiful," the knight commented when the song ended. "What does it mean?"

"Humans are... shtoopid, they can't... undershtand tish stuff, what a bunch of... dumb-asses." Shianni replied in a drunken, deadpan manner.

Mhiri looked stunned for a few seconds before replying. "Really?"

"No, I have... no idea what it means, it's in elvish."

"Um, aren't you an elf?"

"Hey! Just because... I'm an elf, doesn't mean I speak elvish. That's rashist."

"Um, I am officially confused."

"Well... you know how elves... used to be shlaves?"

"Yes."

"Well... people who own shlaves... don't generally want them to be able to talk to one another in a way that no one elshe... understands. So a lot of the... elvish language is just...gone."

"But don't the Dalish speak elvish?"

"In a way, but it's not true elvish, it's a sort of shorthand shlave elvish with some Tevintuh mixed in. Not that they'd bother to teach that to us, the smug bashtards."

"Er..."

"Bloody Dalish, shwanning about all shuperiuh-like. What's so great about running around in the woodsh half-naked and talking to treesh and crap, or whatever they do." The elf frowned as if remembering something unpleasant. "Call me a flat-ear again you bloody sack of sh-"

"Okay, that's it. No more Dragon's Breath for you."

0-0

The next morning, Kallian awoke to a very comfortable warmth. Aedan's much larger form engulfed her petite frame, and it made her feel safe and protected, which was a bit ironic when she thought about it, seeing that it her _her_ job to protect _him_. Unfortunately she couldn't stay here. It would probably be bad if anyone discovered her here in her lord's bed. But at the moment she was finding it difficult to remember why. _No_, she concluded after much internal debate, _I don't want to cause him any trouble._ So, after gathering her resolve, she worked her way out of Aedan's soft, comfortable, and most of all warm, grasp and into the chilly morning air. She lurched her way over to his door, and after several attempts, managed to get it open. Kallian quietly went through before quietly closing it again behind her.

"Good Morning."

"_Aaahhh_!" the rogue jumped several feet in the air and whirled around to face... "Elle?" The maid stood before her with a bemused expression. "Uh, I can explain..."

The older woman raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Why you're sleeping with Lord Aedan?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean... that's all we were doing, just sleeping...and maybe kissing a bit...please don't tell anyone!" The girl begged. She then blushed red and looked down at her shoes.

The maid chuckled and grinned hugely. "Wouldn't dream of it, dearie. There wouldn't be much point; pretty much everyone already knows."

"Oh thank... Wait, what?"

"Oh yeah, it's the talk of the estate, Lady Elissa saw you coming out of his room yesterday."

"Oh." So that's why she was asking about our 'relationship'. She thought. Quickly processing this new information, she came to an important and significant conclusion. Unfortunately it was an incorrect one.

"Then that means I can go back to bed with Lord Aedan!"

"Sorry, Lady Elissa wants to see you."

Kallian groaned. "Can't it wait?"

"Afraid not. She was very specific."

"Ugh, fine, just let me put something on."

* * *

**Yes I know it's a bit shot, but I have a valid excuse, I, possibly foolishly, decided to take Japanese this year, and let me tell you, it's like a whole other language or something. But to make up for it you get this:**

**Originally the opening scene was going to be a lemon. After much debate I decided it was out of character but on the other hand I thought it came out rather well. So I decided I would go ahead and post it anyway. **

***Warning Adult-ish Content ***

Kallian shifted herself around so that she was lying in his lap again, with his waist comfortably nestled between her legs. "You're a really nice guy, you know that, right? _Too_ nice, sometimes."

Suddenly Kallian noticed something pressing against her thighs, and sent her lord a lecherous grin. "Ooh, what's this? It seems you've made a liar out of me, my lord. You want me to take care of that for you? I live to serve." The elf licked her lips hungrily.

Aedan shifted uncomfortably. "Kallian, you don't have to-"

The smirking elf slid down his body, making sure to get as much skin to skin contact as possible, and she also took extra care to make sure Aedan would feel her breasts press against his bare chest, separated only by the frustratingly thin fabric of her shift. She ended up with her body prone under the covers with her head just level with his groin, which was now even harder.

"Really, Kallian, this isn't necess-" Aedan was interrupted by the sensation of his pants being pulled down. "Er, Kallian, what are you doi- Maker's breath!" He groaned

Kallian really hoped she was doing this right. Although from what she had been told, as long as she didn't try to bite him or anything, there was no way Aedan wouldn't enjoy this. And if the sounds coming from him were any indication, she _was_ doing it right.

"Kallian..." he said with a strained voice.

She stopped and regarded him with a quizzical expression as her head popped back into his field of view.

"Not that this doesn't feel _amazing_, but is there anything that I could… do to you?"

Kallian lowered her eyes a mumbled something indistinct.

"Pardon?"

"I said, 'You could rub my ears' i-if you wanted to." she whispered shyly.

Aedan crooked his head to the side in an inquiring look.

"I-it's an elf thing, okay?" she blushed "We have… very... _sensitive_ ears." she offered by way of an explanation.

"So like…" he positioned his hands so that the tips of his fingers brushed along to outside edge and his thumbs rubbed the delicate points of her ears. "This?"

The young elf gasped, and her eyes nearly rolled back into her skull. "Y-yes." By the Maker, he was a natural.

"Ah, well… carry on, I suppose." he replied incredibly awkwardly. And with a wry smirk, she did, bobbing her head and twirling her tongue enthusiastically in the process. Aedan's hands gradually tightened around her ears as he approached release.

"Kallian, I'm going to..."

The elf redoubled her efforts.

"Aaaahh!" The Cousland's hands tightened almost painfully as he came right in her mouth.

Kallian looked up the young lord's blissful face as she grinned inwardly to herself, licked her lips and swallowed with an exaggerated gulping noise. "Was that to my lord's liking?" She said with a smirk.

"Kallian...that was...just, _wow_."

The elf looked away, suddenly feeling incredibly shy and awkward.

"Er, yeah, no problem. Hey Aedan, what-" Kallian blinked in disbelief and indignation as she noticed that Aedan had _fallen asleep_ of all things!

"Hmph, men!" She had half a mind to go back to her room just so that he'd wake up to an empty bed in the morning. _If only he wasn't so warm... Oh who am I kidding._ She cuddled back into him and soon fell fast asleep.

**The ear thing will probably put in an appearance in the actual story at some point. So if that bothers you (and I can't imagine why it would) then consider this to be a fair warning.**

**Anyway, that's all for now. Oh and I'd like to thank my new beta reader: the almost painfully modest 'Paragon of Awesomeness.'**


	10. Elissa's offer

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Tenth**

**Elissa's Offer**

**Still not wearing pants.**

* * *

Kallian was upset with Elle, to put it lightly.

"I can dress myself." she growled.

"I'm sure you can, but my way is more fun."

"For you maybe."

"Exactly. Now be a dear, and indulge an old lady."

"You're not that old." The rogue mumbled under her breath.

Kallian wore a Grey turtleneck sweater tightly fitted to emphasize her "assets" and a long wool skirt with white silk stockings that flashed alluringly as she walked. She'd never worn stockings before, let alone silk ones, or anything made of silk for that matter. She rather enjoyed the way it felt on her skin, it made her feel quite... sexy?

One of the reasons she put up with being the maid's dress-up toy was that Elle always made her look good. Much better than she, herself could. The other was that the older elf could be surprisingly scary when she didn't get her way.

After walking for a while, the pair stopped outside the library. "Now, mind your manners in front of Lady Elissa. She's a lot more... formal than Lord Aedan." the maid warned Kallian. Then without waiting for a response, she opened the door and announced their arrival. "Miss Inri to see you as requested, milady."

Kallian tentatively entered the room. She noted the roaring fire in the fireplace made the room rather cozy. But most of her attention was drawn to Elissa herself. She was wearing a long silk dressing gown over a modest slip, her long red hair was down out of the coils she usually kept them in, and the light from the morning sun diffused through the frosted glass of the window in such a way as to make her look almost angelic. Any male - provided he wasn't blind, related by blood or a "Bachelor" - who had happened across the scene would have become instantly infatuated with the young Lady Cousland. As for Kallian, she had never wanted to hit anyone so badly in her entire life... aside from Vaughan, but he was already dead, so he didn't count.

"Ah, Miss Inri, so good of you to join me, would you care for some tea?" Greeted the Lady cordially.

Slightly suspicious, the elf narrowed her eyes a bit, but eventually responded with a nod. The two sat down at the table where a light breakfast was already laid out. Elissa gracefully buttered a scone and took a dainty bite. After several moments of watching the older girl eat, Kallian was starting to get agitated.

"I understand that you summoned me, milady. Is there something I can do for you?"

Elissa popped the last of the scone into her mouth and steepled her fingers in front of her face and gave Kallian an indecipherable smile. "I think you'll find the question is, Miss Inri, or should that be Tabris?" she paused. "Is what can _I_ do for _you_?"

"What do you mean?' The wary elf asked cautiously.

"Well Miss - I think I'll stick with Inri, wouldn't want that to slip out in public - you have been presented with a unique opportunity." while she was speaking, Elissa had gotten up from her seat and was moving towards one of the book shelves. "My brother seems to like you. Would you say that the feeling was mutual?"

"Er, well, uh, the thing is... er." Kallian stuttered, taken of guard by the lady's bluntness.

"Yes or no, Miss Inri, it's not a difficult question." Elissa demanded, moving toward the smaller girl.

"Well uh, you see, um..."

"Tick, tock, time is running out, Miss Inri, yes or no? Hmm?" Continued Elissa, ratcheting up the pressure, bowing down to stare directly into Kallian's face.

"Yes!" The blond elven rogue blurted, her eyes closed.

Elissa immediately assumed a more friendly posture. "See, wasn't that simple?" she patted the elf on the head and moved back towards the shelves. Kallian was so stunned that she didn't even register the condescending gesture. "Anyway, on with the business at hand. You're quite a competent fighter. You could be better, but that's not really the issue." Elissa removed a short stack of books from the shelf she was standing next to.

"Your real problem is that you lack...refinement."

Kallian refrained from commenting about how smashing people in the face with one's shield hardly qualified Elissa to talk about being refined.

"A proper mistress - and make no mistake, that is what you are - needs to be able to act like a lady when the situation demands." The young Lady placed the stack of books on top of her head and began walking back and forth across the room. "Fortunately, I can help you with this," Kallian looked on as the books barely moved, she wasn't entirely sure what the point of that was, but it certainly was impressive. "Of course you could always refuse my kind offer and continue to muddle through the nobility as you have so far, but seeing that we both care about my brother, I'm sure you wouldn't want to cause him any undue embarrassment." She removed the books and replaced them on the shelf. "Of course, should you choose to submit yourself to my tutelage, we can also work on your fighting skills. So, what say you?"

Kallian was torn. On the one hand she didn't really like Elissa very much, while on the other this sounded like stuff she needed to know. Plus, entitled, overconfident bitch or not, Elissa was one of the best fighters in Ferelden, and she was offering to train Kallian. After mulling it over for awhile, she made the only decision she really could.

"When do we start?" She would do just about anything to help Aedan, even put up with his overbearing sister.

"Ah, excellent. I had wanted to start with a quick spar but-" she indicated the snow-covered window. "So we shall start with something else. Mrs. Russel, you can bring them in now."

When Kallian saw what Elle brought in, she paled as she realized what she was about to endure.

"Oh, don't be such a wuss." The older elf woman scoffed. "It's only a four inch heel."

0-0

Aedan woke up a little later. He wasn't really surprised to see that Kallian was no longer with him, she would usually go back to her room at some point during the night. Yesterday had been an exception, though a pleasant one, something about protecting his reputation. He would rather she stayed, but he could see her point.

He was, however, surprised when neither Kallian or Elissa joined him for breakfast. He missed the company, Kallian especially, he had always enjoyed watching her in her usually brief sleeping costume. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, he was a gentleman after all. So he decided to have a walk around the estate, just to make sure that everything was running smoothly, and _not_ to look for his wayward elf or his sister.

He had yet to find either of the females, but he had come across a few of the staff, who, for some reason kept grinning at him. It was a bit unnerving. _'What's wrong with everyone today?'_ he thought.

He eventually ran into Sergeant Cartwright, who also grinned at him. That was the last straw, the man in charge of of his guard was one of the most persistently disgruntled characters Aedan had ever met. He almost never smiled and certainly didn't wear such a large cheese-eating grin, like he was sporting now. Aedan was genuinely surprised that the man's face didn't crack.

"What are you grinning at, Sergeant?"

"Er, what? Am I? Guess I'm just in a good mood is all, milord."

Aedan instantly became even more suspicious, Cartwright was well known for having the disposition of an angry badger with a toothache. "You're never in a good mood. Now spill, why is everybody grinning at me?"

"Well, er, we're all just happy for you, milord."

"Eh?"

"Um...you and the elf, sir."

"What about Kallian and I?" A nugget of suspicion began to form in his mind.

"Well... you're fucking her, aren't you?" Aedan scowled at the sergeant's foul language, though he winced on the inside. But the guard failed to notice and continued. "Used to know a damn hot elven whore back in my younger days, milord. She would do pretty much anything I wanted if I rubbed her ears the right way. And payed her, of course."

Aedan's scowl deepened at that, which the sergeant finally noticed and stood at attention. Though the young lord silently filed that tip about rubbing ears away in his mind for future reference.

"Sergeant, would you ever, in your right mind, use such crass terms if you found yourself speaking to my mother and father, or any respectable member of the nobility for that matter?"

Cartwright hastily answered "Of course not, milord."

"Then let me make myself perfectly clear, Sergeant: Whenever you are on active duty, you represent the house of Cousland, and neither I or any member of my family will tolerate such undisciplined behavior. And as for the rumours that seem to revolve around myself and my bodyguard, know any relationship between myself and Miss Inri - assuming that should such a thing even exists - is no business of anyone but ourselves. Is that understood?"

Sergeant Cartwright swallowed and nodded "Perfectly, milord."

"Good. Dismissed."

As soon as the sergeant left, Aedan headed off towards the library, specifically the section where Kallian kept all those smutty novels she loved to read. Perhaps there was a book which contained a descriptive scene between a male human and elf woman. One that involved rubbing ears...

0-0

Shianni awoke suddenly to an urgent need. She quickly pulled the chamber pot out from under her bed and threw up what seemed like everything she had eaten and drank over the last three days. _'I am never touching another bottle of alcohol again as long as I live.'_ She thought, as she did every time she had a hangover. One of these days it would finally stick.

"Are you okay?" asked a cheerful voice. Shianni turned and squinted myopically at the last person anyone would want to meet while hung over.

"Oh, wow, you look terrible!" Regarded Mel, unhelpfully, and much too loudly in Shianni's opinion.

"Not so loud..." Shianni croaked.

" Oooo! Have you been drinking?" the curly-haired blonde seemed to actually be getting louder.

"Go away." croaked the redhead."

"Does this mean today's reading lessons are canceled?"

Mostly as an attempt to do something useful with her time, Shianni had been trying to teach some of the girls how to read, Surprisingly Mel was one of the better students, at least when she could be persuaded to sit still for more than five seconds. Shianni was considering bringing some things up from the dungeons...

"Erg..." Shianni moaned.

Interpreting the noise as confirmation, Mel turned and broadcasting to the room in general, "Hey! No reading classes today!" and there was much rejoicing as they all ran noisily outside to play in the snow.

"Ungrateful little..." Their instructor mumbled before burrowing back into bed.

She was re-awakened several hours later by Ser Mhiri.

"Shianni." The guard gave the slumbering elf a gentle shake.

"Ugh...go...'way." Then, against her better judgment, she poked the top of her head out from under the covers and opened her eyes. She estimated it was late afternoon by the shadows around the room.

"The Queen wants to talk to you." explained the knight.

"Tell her I've died." Shianni replied before pulling the blankets back up over her head.

"Well, okay, what from?"

"Being dead."

Mhiri turned to Anora, who was standing just outside of Shianni's field of vision. "She says she's dead, Your Majesty."

"Well," she responded. "I suppose she would know." The Queen paused briefly in reflection. "It's always so sad when one's pets die." Mhiri gave a solemn nod of agreement. "Should we bury her in the garden?"

"Oh yes, Your Majesty, that would be quite appropriate."

"Are you done?" Groused the disheveled elf as she finally emerged from her cocoon.

"Eek! A zombie!" exclaimed Mhiri.

The Queen put her hand up over her mouth in an attempt to stifle her giggles.

Shianni pinched the bridge of her nose. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

**Hope everyone had a nice Christmas. I got clothes and a beard trimmer. I am officially an adult. It kind of sucks.**

**Yes I know it's a bit short again this month but I wanted to post something the new semester starts and I get busy again. So _no_ complaining.**


	11. Dress for Sucess

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Eleventh**

**Dress for Success**

**I finally got some pants on! Oh wait, this is a skirt. Dammit!**

* * *

Aedan was approaching the library on the lookout for male human/female elf "literature", when he started hearing a strange thumping noise. It was oddly regular, happening every few minutes or so. It grew louder as he got closer to his destination, it was coming from his sister's study. As he opened the door of said room, he was greeted by a curious sight.

His bodyguard and his sister were wrestling.

In their small-clothes. and, in Kallian's case, stockings.

Naturally, Aedan was intrigued, and decided to watch, while doing his best to ignore the fact that one of the "combatants" was his sister. The young lord was inadvertently reminded of a time when he had seen the Stray playing with a kitten (probably one of his). Kallian would lunge at Elissa and the larger girl would swat her back down and try for a pin, which the elf would somehow miraculously squirm out of, and it would start all over again. Judging by how sweaty they were, the match seemed to have been going on for some time. He spotted Elle off to one side.

"What are they doing?" he asked the maid.

"Wrestling." she answered in her usual deadpan tone.

_Well, ask a stupid question..._ He thought. "That's obvious. _Why_ are they wrestling?"

"If Elissa wins, Kallian has to wear a corset." explained Elle.

"Okay, and they're in their smalls because...?"

"Didn't want to mess up their clothes."

"Ah," That... sort of made sense, at least if he didn't think about it too hard. "How is she doing?"

"Kallian's down one fall to none," Elle said as she anticipated her lord's next question. "Best of three."

"Er...why does Elissa care how my bodyguard dresses?"

"We're trying to teach her how to be a lady."

There was another thud as Kallian was once again hurled to the floor.

"How's that going?" he said, eyebrow raised.

"Better than I expected."

"So basically, she's kicked and screamed, but she hasn't actually killed or maimed anyone yet."

"Pretty much."

They watched the two women for a while. There was another thud.

"Does Kallian even know how to wrestle?"

"Doesn't look like it."

"Hmmm."

Elissa had finally gotten a sold grip on her surprisingly evasive opponent and had her pinned when she noticed Aedan for the first time. "Ah, brother, enjoying the sh-AAA!"

Kallian bit her and scrambled to her feet. "Does that count?" she asked franticly. Looking over at Elle and noticing her would-be lover. "Aedan?"

"Uh...hello?"

Kallian flushed in embarrassment and looked down at her stockinged feet. "Uh, sorry I missed break-"

Elissa took advantage of the elf's distraction and rolled her up for the win.

"Never let your guard down." She admonished before Kallian could protest that she hadn't been ready.

"Fine." pouted the rogue. Knowing that Elissa and especially Elle would want her to wear the corset literally as soon as possible, and she couldn't wear a corset with her bra on, she began to remove it.

Elissa cocked an eyebrow and indicated that there was a male present. Said male was suddenly blushing and looking everywhere but at the stripping elf.

Kallian smirked saucily and started removing the garment more slowly, swaying her hips sensuously back and forth, just as she had seen the Rivaini dancers at the Pearl do. She then shot Aedan a teasing wink over her shoulder.

"Ahem." coughed Elissa with a disapproving frown, giving Kallian a start. She'd been so focused on seducing Aedan, she had completely forgotten there was anyone else in the room.

Elle gave her a smirk as the approached bearing the corset, motioning that the young elf should raise her arms over her head.

Kallian had long stopped wondering how the maid kept producing clothes seemingly from out of nowhere, and in her size to boot, and reluctantly did what she was told. The maid wrapped the corset around her torso and started lacing it up.

_Well_, thought Kallian, _this isn't so ba- "_Ack!" The blond grunted as the lacing was pulled taught with a sharp yank.

Elissa surveyed Elle's handiwork, and frowned after a couple seconds. "That's far too loose. Here let me show you..." She took the string and jerked it as hard as she could, probably a lot harder than was strictly necessary. Then again, Elissa Cousland did not appreciate being bitten.

"C-can't... breathe!" Gasped Kallian.

"Er, that does seem a little tight." Aedan commented.

"Oh tosh," His sister said dismissively. "Being pretty is worth a little pain."

"She's turning blue!"

"Okay, _that's_ not supposed to happen..."

Elle, not waiting for the siblings to stop bickering, quickly pulled the strings loose.

Kallian gasped in relief, gulping down great lung-fulls of air with her hands on her knees. The maid patted her on the back.

"There there, dear, quick shallow breaths."

Aedan, seeing that the maid had things under control, turned to his sister. "You know Elissa, I can't remember the last time you wore a corset."

"Oh I don't wear them." she shrugged. "They're really terribly uncomfortable."

"Then why-" Aedan started.

"Because I thought it would look good on her." Interrupted Elle. "And look: I was right."

Kallian had caught her breath by then and turned to face Aedan nervously.

"..." The lord was speechless.

The restrictive garment pushed her formidable breasts up and together, greatly enhancing her already impressive cleavage to epic proportions.

"That's really quite flattering." Even Elissa was impressed.

"It's kind of uncomfortable, and I can't really move my back. How am I supposed to fight in this thing?"

"Now try the heels." demanded Elle, completely ignoring her junior's question. Kallian looked like she was going to argue for a second, but balked at the maid's 'Do it. Now.' face. "Might as well, try the dress too..." the maid continued under her breath.

While this was going on Aedan shot his sister a sidelong glance.

"Elissa."

"Yes brother?"

"Would you please put some clothes on."

"Why? You've seen me in my smalls before." she answered, feigning ignorance.

"We were eleven. Things have changed a bit since then."

"Have they?" she teased. "You know, lots of people would love to see me like this, probably would pay a lot of coin for the privilege."

"Elissa!"

"Oh fine," she pouted. "Bet you wouldn't say that to little miss elf though."

"He did, actually." interjected the blond, in the midst of having a rather elaborate dress put on her. "Made me get a robe." Elissa smirked at the reddening noble. "That was just the first time though.

Before anyone could comment further, Elle had finished with the dress.

"Well, what does everybody think?"

Elissa brought her hand up to her chin in the 'thinking' pose. "Quite acceptable." she concluded after a few moments. "Aedan?"

"Urg." he grunted, higher brain functions disengaged.

The dress was a slinky strapless number in burgundy velvet. The skirt, though floor length had a slit up the side revealing Kallian's shapely leg, made even more so by the heels that forced her to stand on her toes, emphasizing their musculature.

The females all grinned simultaneously.

"I think he likes it." commented Elissa.

0-0

"And that's why I want control of the alienages." concluded Anora.

Shianni, still in her nightclothes and still very hungover, wondered why the Queen had decided to tell her about this now. She had been dragged from her bed, which she very much wanted to get back to, force fed some odd bitter beverage called "cough-ee" if she recalled correctly, which didn't help her hangover nearly as much as Mhiri had said it would. Now that she came to think about it, Anora was probably telling her this now because Shianni was really in no condition to argue with her. Little did the queen know, Shianni could argue while hanging upside-down with her head submerged in a bucket full of wine.

Squinting her bloodshot eyes in an expression of fierce concentration, the elf started speaking. "So let me see if I've got this straight, you want control of the alienages as a separate form of income to bypass the Landsmeet,"

Anora nodded. "For schools and other worthy causes." she clarified.

Shianni rolled her eyes sceptically and continued. "And in return, we get a new landlord and some special legal protections."

"That just about summarizes it."

"But a human will be in charge?"

"Lord Aedan, yes."

"No."

Anora raised an eyebrow. "You have a problem with him? I assure you he is eminently qualified. He demonstrated this when he reformed Highever's alienage"

"He's a human." _And he's doing something to my cousin._ She added in her head.

The Queen sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Shianni," she responded in a weary voice. "This isn't a negotiation. This is me, the Queen of Ferelden, telling you how it is going to be, out of courtesy."

"But-"

"The position is going to Lord Aedan." The queen declared. Shianni attempted to explain why she found that unacceptable, but the queen cut her off. "Whatever the problem is, you're just going to have to sit on it for now and sort it out with Lord Aedan when you have the opportunity. Is that clear?"

The redhead was taken aback by the steel in the queen's voice. This was not the woman who played dress-up and joked around with Mhiri. She was, without a doubt, speaking as the Queen.

"Er...y-yes, Your Majesty."

Anora's eyes softened and she was back to being just herself again. "Shianni, once Aedan has been put in charge of the alienages, at least give him some time to actually see how he operates. If it turns out that he is not governing your people to your satisfaction, come speak to me, and we'll resolve the issue then. Is that acceptable?"

The elf managed a nod.

"Excellent. Now I suggest go back to bed, you look terrible, and could use some beauty sleep."

* * *

**As of this chapter this is now officially the longest thing I have ever written.**

**Anyway, Sorry this is so short again but I felt I should update before you guys all forget about me(sob)**

**I've got another bit with Aedan finding some dirty books after this but I feel like this is enough for now.**

**So that's sort of a cliffhanger. Is everybody enjoying the story so far? It's not too fluffy is it? Considering adding some more dramatic elements like...okay haven't really got that far yet, but if anyone has any suggestions I'm more than willing to listen. Not saying I'll actually DO anything, but I will listen.**


	12. Illicit Literature

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-warmer**

**Chapter the Twelfth:**

**Illicit literature**

**Haven't heard back from Bio-ware about my idea for a Dragon Age dating sim, so I still don't own it.**

* * *

Eventually Aedan managed to stop ogling his bodyguard long enough to make his way to the library. He even found what he was looking for... a bit more than he was looking for, to be perfectly honest. Most of his dismay was due to a single volume. After a few hours perusing the surprisingly large selection of 'specialized literature' he came across _The Art of Love_ by 'An Antivan Gentleman'. If the contents of his book were to be believed the man was anything but. He seemed to be some sort of sexual omnivore, male, female, human, elf, dwarf, didn't really seem to matter. There was no section on the Kossith - the tall, horned species that most of the Qunari consisted of - but there was an ad in the back asking for volunteers to help remedy the omission.

Inside this weighty tome was anything Aedan had ever wanted to know about sex, and quite a few things that he didn't. After a quick scan of the index he located the section on Elves' ears. It was an entire chapter.

Apparently there were different techniques, all laid out in carefully numbered diagrams. The amount of detail was impressive to the point of being slightly creepy. Aden was a bit overwhelmed. Did he really need to know _all_ of this? Also how did it get here? He knew he hadn't purchased it, so that left Elissa, Fergus, or... his parents. Deciding that in this particular case that ignorance was bliss Aedan resolved to never think about it ever again.

It was at this point that Elle entered the room.

"Dinner is ready, m'lord." she announced. "Oh, what's that you're reading?" She quickly and rather rudely, snatched the book out of his hands before he could hide it. Then flipped it shut to look at the cover. "So that's where this went. Someone must have put it here by mistake." she said to herself.

"So that's your book?" Aedan asked.

"Yup."

Aedan felt relieved, he had unwillingly started thinking it was his parents', and in that direction lay only madness.

While he was distracted the nosy maid turned to the page he had been looking at. "Ears, eh?" she put her hand up to her chin in a thinking pose. "Good place to start, intimate but not _too_ intimate.."

"Er..." Aedan wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

Elle either didn't notice or didn't care. "The key is to be firm but gentle, here." she reached for his hand.

"Um, what are you doing?" he asked as she raised his hand to her ear.

"Well, you want to do it right, don't you?" she asked completely casually, as if she wasn't about to do something extremely inappropriate.

"Um..."

"I'm just showing you." she demonstrated. "You put your thumb here and your fingers like this..."

Aedan was incredibly uncomfortable. "Elle, I..." he tried to think of a way to put it diplomatically. "If it's all the same to you I think I'd rather figure it out on my own, I do appreciate the gesture though."

She shrugged it off as she finally lowered his hand. "Suit yourself, but feel free to ask if you have any questions, m'lord." The maid made a mental note to make the same offer to Kallian. "Anyway, dinner is ready." she indicated the book. "Keep that as long as you like, m'lord, I have most of it memorized already."

And with that somewhat troubling insight into the private life of his domestic staff, Aedan went to his quarters to prepare for dinner and find someplace to hide the book where Kallian and Elissa wouldn't find it. On the way there, he realized something unsettling.

_Elle said that she had most of this book memorized, and Elle's helping my sister teach Kallian how to be a proper mistress... Oh Maker._

0-0

Upon his arrival Aedan was greeted by a rather pleasant surprise. It seemed that Kallian was once again allowed to eat upstairs.

"Good evening brother." Oh, and Elissa was with her. Kallian was once again dressed in the sweater and skirt she had worn earlier that day, it having been declared suitable for an informal dinner. Aedan could not help but notice how well the elf filled out the garment, indicating that she was most likely still wearing the corset. Secretly, he was a bit disappointed that she wasn't still wearing 'that' dress, but felt that this was compensated for by Aedan retaining the ability to use his brain.

"Elissa, Kallian." he greeted then noticed the elaborate spread. "What's all this?"

"Kallian needs to learn proper table manners instead of just grabbing things and stuffing them into her mouth." Elissa answered with a pointed look at her student. The elf lowered her head and looked off to the side, blushing faintly.

"But isn't that what you usually do?" he questioned innocently.

"Well, yes," the remark had it's intended effect, bringing about an awkward pause "but I _do_ know how to behave properly when the situation calls for it." she replied, recovering quickly. "I just can't be bothered most of the time." she concluded huffily.

Kallian shot Aedan a thankful look.

They sat down at the table. Aedan at the head with the girls on either side.

"First course." Elissa called once she was settled.

Elle entered balancing a tray with three small bowls of soup which she set before each of the diners. The two nobles thanked her with a nod with Kallian mimicking them a few seconds later. The rouge was having trouble remembering what the two women had attempted to teach her at lunch after her, rather embarrassing faux paux. So she simply watched what the nobles did and copied their actions as best she could.

This strategy served her well, or at least didn't get her yelled at, however by the time the main course arrived the young elf was quite board. Listening to Aedan make small talk with his sister wasn't as entertaining as she had hoped. _Oh well_, she thought, _I'll just have to entertain myself_.

0-0

Aedan felt something brush up against his leg. _Stupid cat_. he thought. It wasn't normally allowed in the dining room. He tried to shoo it away with his foot. It seemed to work but the animal soon returned. He leaned down to swat it with his hand. The move was ineffective as the rubbing soon returned. Aedan sighed,_ What a persistent animal. _he decided to ignore the creature, once it realized he wasn't going to feed it, the cat would wander off.

This failed to happen. Instead whatever it was pushed up his pant leg and stroked his calf. _Okay_, he realized, _that's not a cat. _It actually felt like silk. He shot a glance at a now very suspicious looking Kallian. She gave him a teasing wink in response. Mystery solved, it seemed. Despite having been caught, the elf continued molesting his leg. He swatted it away with a warning glare. Kallian looked entirely too pleased with herself as her foot returned, this time resting on his outer thigh.

_Thank goodness her legs are so short._ He thought to himself. _Otherwise I might be in real trouble_. He looked over to the elf once again as she gave him an innocent look that fooled no one. Aedan suddenly grabbed the offending appendage by the ankle and tickled it's sole.

The elf gave a sharp gasp in surprise and tried to pull her leg back. He decided not to let her, and tickled harder. Kallian tried to remain composed. The strain was quite evident as she continued to try to get her feet away from his fingers. Aedan, in a surprising show of strength, wasn't having any of that and maintained his firm grip. Finally her resistance crumbled.

"S-stop it!" she shrieked with laughter.

Elissa gave them a stern look. "Children, not at the table." she scolded them lightly.

The pair looked contrite and returned to their meal.

After a few minutes Aedan felt something brushing against his leg again. He sighed in resignation..

0-0

Aedan was once again in his room. He was supposed to be working but he couldn't keep his mind off a certain volume hidden securely amongst his clean underwear. The problem with that kind of knowledge is that one has the nearly irresistible urge to try it out. He got up from his desk and retrieved the shameful tome.

Later he was practicing one of the more complicated finger motions in the air when he was interrupted by a knock on the door, quickly followed by an elf, clad only in her corset, panties and thigh-high stockings. She was early tonight, he noted. Not that he minded very much. They were together now, more or less, so it was okay for him to admire her...more feminine attributes. So Barely-Dressed-Kallian was always welcome and, eventually, Completely-Naked-Kallian would be even more so.

"I need you to take my clothes off." She said abruptly.

...and all higher brain functions ceased.

"Er..."

"I can't get this knot untied." she explained, turning her back towards him and looking at him beseechingly over her shoulder. "Could you give me a hand?"

Aedan shook his head, clearing it of inappropriate thoughts and images. "Er, yes fine." Aedan stammered as he approached her from behind. "Uh, shouldn't Elle be doing this?"

"Maybe I wanted you to do it." she flirted.

"Er..."

At that moment Aedan's fingers, without much input from his overheated brain, managed to undo the troublesome knot. The corset slipped off unheeded to the floor. Aedan quickly turned his back.

Kallian sighed in disappointment. She must be the only elf in Denerim that actually wanted a noble to ogle her. To that end she had acquired a new sleeping "costume". She had considered re-introducing the two-piece, since that had certainly gotten his attention before, but had decided that the winter air was much too chilly. So instead she had "borrowed" Aedan's pajama shirt. However, for such an intimate garment, it was not inherently sexy. The resourceful elf had remedied this by leaving the top and bottom two buttons undone, highlighting her chest and taut midriff. It did not go unnoticed.

"Is that my shirt?" he inquired.

"Er, yes, is that all right? I've never seen you wearing it so..." she trailed off, biting her lip nervously.

"It's fine." he paused. "It looks better on you than me anyway."

Kallian blushed. How did he do that? Earlier she had been quite frustrated with the slow, almost glacial progress they had been making towards a more physical relationship. And with just one little compliment and she went all red and timid, seduction plan all but forgotten, just happy to be around him.

"Oh, I nearly forgot." He retrieved an object from his desk. "This is for you." Aedan said, interrupting her train of thought.

Kallian took it gingerly, not wanting to seem too eager, she hardly ever got presents, and wanted to savor the moment. It turned out to be a simple leather coin purse. _Not exactly the most romantic of gifts_, she thought. It opened to reveal five gold sovereigns. Kallian was confused, did he want her to buy her own gift?

"It's your pay for the last few weeks, sorry it's a bit late." He explained upon seeing her bewildered expression.

"I get paid?" The elf said while blinking, honestly confused.

"Well, yes." Aedan answered. "Why wouldn't you?"

"But I get to live here and you feed me and we're...uh..." she trailed off.

"None of those things changes the fact that you work for me." He explained, slightly offended that she thought he would shirk his obligations just because they were...friends. Quite close friends. Of opposite gender. That slept together.

Okay, maybe he could understand her confusion.

"But if you don't want it..."

"No!" she clutched the small purse to her chest. "I-I'm sure I can find a use for it." Feeling awkward she decided to change the subject. "What's that you're reading?"

Aedan paled.

* * *

**Well, that's another chapter done, sorry it's so short but I had classes over the summer. It's been a long time since I posted anything so felt like I should put this up to reassure you all that this story hasn't died.**

**So I just typed up what I had. Also rewrote that Mass effect lemon so if anyone's interested in that, it's a bit kinkier now, and at least twice as long, whether or not that's a good thing you'll have to decide on your own.**

**Also, don't expect another update anytime soon, I've got "Intro to Historical Inquiry" this semester(I'm a history major) and there's, quite a few reports that I have to do, so that will take up lots of time and brain space. I will continue this story however it just may take a while.**


	13. Enhanced Intamacy

**Chronicles of an Elven Bed-Warmer**

**Chapter the Thirteenth**

**Enhanced Intimacy**

**I own NOTHING!**

**It's really kind of depressing...**

* * *

"Er...um..." was Aedan's eloquent response.

Kallian had only been trying to change the subject but now she was intrigued, what could make him so flustered? She made a grab for the book. Instinctively he moved it away, Kallian chased it. This continued for several moments until Aedan remembered something very important. He was tall, and she was short. So with a smug air he raised the book up over his head.

Kallian jumped up after it a few times before she sent him an angry glare. Aedan, in an uncharacteristic immature moment stuck his tongue out at her.

"Oh that's it." The elf took a few steps back and flung herself at the young lord. To his credit he was not knocked over but stayed standing. Undeterred the plucky girl attempted to climb him.

Aedan was stunned. This had never happened before.

It was not entirely unpleasant.

His elf weighed practically nothing to his large muscular frame and the sensation of her arms and legs around him was...distracting to say the least, not to mention that her breasts were pressed up against his face.

Whilst Aedan was having something akin to a religious experience Kallian snagged the book with a triumphant "A-ha!" Followed shortly with a disappointed "Oh, it's just that sex book."

Her blase tone awoke him from his trance. "Eh?"

"I have a copy at home." she explained. "Isabella gave it to me as a wedding gift."

"Isabella?"

"Someone from work, says she knows the author." she paused "Well, actually, what she says is that she collaborated on the book." The rouge flipped idly through the pages. "It could be true, she gets around a lot and some of the illustrations do kind of look like her."

There followed a long silence.

Kallian grew concerned. "Aedan-waugh!"

The young lord suddenly grabbed her and whirled her about every which way before she came to a stop, extremely disorientated and facing the wrong way under his arm.

"Am I going to get a spanking?" she questioned with a smirk.

Aedan sighed and put her down. "Kallian..." he paused, trying to think of a subtle way of phrasing his question. He never got the chance.

"Can we try some of this stuff?" she asked boldly.

Aedan sent her a surprised look. "Er..." he started.

Kallian beat him to it once again. "You're not the only one who's curious m'lord. If this humble elf may assist his lordship in any way he need only ask."

Aedan's mouth turned up at the corners. "Well, far be it from me to deny such a request, is there anything in particular the lady requires?"

Kallian's response was to blush and turn away. An action Aedan found almost unbearably cute.

"I've never had anyone...uh, rub my ears before." she whispered nervously, tucking back a loose hair.

"Well, uh," The young lord made his way over to the bed and sat down on the edge. "Just sit here in front of me, hold this." He gave her the book while she sat down cross-legged on the floor where he indicated, leaving it open on her lap so he could see the diagram.

"No, that won't work." he realized he couldn't reach her in that position, the bed was too high. "Better just come up here then." Aedan scooted back, propping himself up against the headboard. Kallian rose with a sigh and situated herself so the the back of her head rested against his chest. "Okay, then I'll..."

"Ow!"

"Sorry."

"OW! Not so rough!"

"It says to be firm."

"Yes, firm. Not 'try to rip it off', be more gentle."

Aedan frowned in concentration. "Alright, so more like..."

Kallian bit her lip to stifle a moan.

He raised an eyebrow. "So like that then?"

"Y-yeah."

Aedan smirked.

Kallian was surprised by how good it felt, it was never like that when she had done it on her own. She was practically purring with pleasure, and this was just her ears! What would the rest of it feel like? After a few more minutes of what felt like the best massage ever, Kallian noticed something poking her. She smiled and tried to wriggle herself back into Aedan.

Maker, she really wanted to have sex with this man.

Abruptly she flipped herself over, flinging the book off onto the floor...somewhere, planted a searing kiss on his lips and pressed her body up against him like she was trying to merge them into a single being.

Aedan, after a suitable amount of time, (when he needed to breath) broke the kiss.

"So I was doing that right then?"

She giggled and started to remove her shirt. "You could say that."

"Er...what are you doing?"

"I thought it was obvious." she replied with a smirk as she ran her fingers down his broad chest, pausing briefly to fluffle through his chest hair, something she had a bit of a thing about, elves didn't have body hair. She continued her assault by straddling his lap and drew herself toward him for another kiss, and coincidentally rub her breasts against him.

Aedan finally got with the program and started kissing her back and using his hands to explore her curves. Without breaking the kiss Kallian divested herself of her unwanted shirt and guided said digits down to the waistband of her panties(small-clothes?)

Surprised, he broke the kiss. "Are you sure?" he asked breathlessly.

Kallian gave a scathing look.

"I was only asking." he responded, sounding a bit hurt.

Upon hearing this Kallian very reluctantly stopped what she was doing. "What's bothering you now?" She couldn't keep the annoyed tone from her voice.

"Should we really be doing this?"

Kallian pinched the bridge of her nose. As much as she wanted to smack him on the head and yell "YES!" she should probably hear him out. "What brought this on?" she asked with a sigh.

"Wouldn't you rather get married first?" he asked earnestly.

She started to laugh before she realized that he was serious. "Oh Aedan, no." she said sympathetically. "Just no, even if we could..." She noticed his dejected expression. "It's- It's not that I don't like you. I do, a lot, but it's just..." She fell silent unable to articulate what she was feeling. It wasn't like they could anyway, wasn't marriage between an elf and a human illegal? And even if it wasn't, she knew how badly that would reflect on Aedan. He was the Tern's son, for Andraste's sake, she was just some nobody elf! It would be a huge scandal! If he was willing to go through that just for her...she felt a revived affection, accompanied by a not insignificant amount of good old-fashioned lust, toward the awkward lord.

"I guess I kind of killed the mood." his glum voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Don't know about that." she replied in a sultry voice. "You do realize that you just indirectly proposed to me, right?"

"Did I?" he blinked in apparent confusion.

"Mm-hmm" she nodded, slowly bringing a finger up to her lips.

"And you turned me down." the lord pointed out somewhat crestfallen. Kallian started to feel a bit nervous, worried that he would be angry with her. "I'm a bit hurt." he continued.

"Er, is there anything I could do to make you feel better m'lord?" She attempted to look appealing, which mostly consisted of making a pouty face and attempting to stick her chest out. It was surprisingly effective.

Aedan mock sighed in a resigned fashion and lifted the covers. The elf divested herself of her panties and let out a cute little 'squee' noise before she sensuously wriggled her way under them to cuddle into her "master's" lap.

After a few minutes she frowned. "It's not fair."

"What?"

"I'm the only one naked."

"You're not naked, you still have your stockings on." he pointed out helpfully.

She sighed. "Just take off your pants."

"I think you should do it."

"Ugh, spoiled nobility." she grumbled as she began to follow his instructions.

He stopped her. "With your teeth."

The elf shot him possibly the most lustful look Aedan had ever seen and followed his suggestion.

Neither got much sleep.

0-0

"Dragons!" exclaimed the king. "An army of trained fire-breathing dragons! Hah! I'd like to see what those snooty Orleasian cheese-eaters would think of that!"

Queen Anora pinched the bridge of her nose. Cailan had been talking to those mages again. She once again reminded herself that she loved her husband and would regret it later if she pushed him out of a third story window.

Probably.

"Cailan..." she began.

"They already have some hatch-lings, so the hard part is already done." He continued, oblivious to his wife's ire.

"So," she interjected. "you don't think stopping them eating people and setting fire to things would be the hard part?"

"Er..." the king paused, in his enthusiasm he had sort of ignored that bit, was rather a glaring flaw now that it had been pointed out. "I'm sure it will be fine, those mages are really quite clever chaps, you know, probably have it all worked out." He rationalized.

0-0

Meanwhile, at the tower of magic: "AAAAAAAGH! Everything's burning! Ice spell, ice spell! Why did I think it was a good idea to keep them in my apartment!? AAAAAA!"

0-0

Anora sighed again. "How much did you give them?"

"Not much, only around five hundred gold. Bit of a bargain really, considering."

The Queen felt relieved, that could have been much worse.

"I'm not completely stupid you know." The king pouted.

"I know you're not dear," she reassured. "Sometimes you just get a bit...over-enthusiastic."

"Well, I get bored. There's nothing for me to do. And you're always busy with...stuff, or playing with your elves." he took on a bit of a whine towards the end.

Anora raised an eyebrow.

"It's not that I don't like them, they certainly brighten the place up a bit, it just seems like we never spend any time together anymore. Of course it doesn't help that they're all terrified of me. Except for the two."

"Which two are those?"

"Oh, the tall quiet one and that bossy redhead, uh...Shianni, I think."

"Well they haven't had the best experiences with human men. So it is somewhat understandable that they would be wary."

Cailan shrugged.

"Look, they won't be here for very much longer." Anora failed to mention that she was thinking of keeping some of them.

The king seemed to know this anyway and gave her a skeptical look. "I suppose you'll be up late again tonight?"

"Er...yes." she confirmed guiltily.

Callian just sighed and walked away.

Anora bit her fingernails for a few moments before calling out. "Erlina!"

"Oui, your majesty?" The elven bard and personal maid to the queen appeared seemingly from nowhere directly behind her mistress, making her jump a little. _'How does she do that?' _Anora wondered, she could have sworn the room had been empty. She recovered quickly and relayed her instructions.

"His Majesty is feeling neglected, do you think you could go and keep him company until I can get free?"

"Oui." the maid replied.

Anora smirked a little. As a trained bard Erlina knew lots of ways to distract men. Commoners might be shock by the Queen sending another woman into her husband's bed but the nobility did things differently. Anora knew that most noblemen had a mistress or two stashed away somewhere, at least the smart ones were discrete about it. Cailan's father King Merric had not been one of those. The Maker only knew how many half-brothers Cailan had wandering about. Anora, being quite a clever girl had decided that if the King were going to cheat on her anyway, then it would damn well pick who it was. Overall she was quite pleased by how well it was working out, she liked to have a night to herself once and awhile.

Having taken care of her marital obligation she steeled herself for her meeting with the royal lawyers. Preparing her request to the landsmeet was an arduous process, everything had to be just so. It was at times like these that she envied Orlais' total monarchy. She was willing to bet the empress didn't have to put up with this shit.

0-0

The next morning Aedan was rudely awakened when a deranged madwoman burst into his chambers.

"Arise, Arise for 'tis dawn, and the day remains unconquered!" she gibbered incoherently.

Wait, nevermind, it was just Elisa. "Go Away." replied the young lord. Blocking the light with his forearm. "What do you want anyway, the sun's barely up."

She regarded him with a raised eyebrow. "Bit of a rough night?"

"Just a little insomnia, nothing to concern yourself over. Now may I inquire as to the reason for your presence?"

"I was looking for Miss Kallian, when I saw she wasn't in her room, for some reason I assumed she would be in here." She looked pointedly at the suspicious mass of bedclothes next to him.

"It's the cat." He lied. Aedan had wanted a nice long lie in, maybe a bit of fun and then a nice romantic brunch and he certainly wasn't going to let Elissa just stroll off with his intended partner.

Unfortunately at the very next second there was a very loud screech followed by some panicked yelping as his sister's mabari once again met the Stray.

"A different cat." Aedan improvised.

"Uh huh." grunted Elissa and pulled the cover back to reveal a naked elf.

"Er..."

0-0

Kallian felt wonderful. Aedan had proven himself the gifted lover. Or at least that's how it seemed to her, not that she had much to compare it to. She had heard the girls at the Pearl talk at she was willing to bet the he was definitely better than average. It took some effort to get him going, but once he was, wow, hold on. One time a neighbor had put a brick on the lid of a pot of boiling water, the rattle was bothering them, well that went okay for a while but then thing exploded and nearly burned down the entire alienage. Making love to Aedan was like that, but with less fire and only one person screaming (her), so she wanted a repeat performance just as soon as possible to that end she started to huddle toward him, but then suddenly she felt a chill.

0-0

The elf awoke with a loud groan and rubbed her eyes in a, to Aedan, rather cute way before stretching languorously giving everyone present a really good view of her breasts, this was appreciated by some more than others, before rolling of the side of the bed onto her feet and slowly shuffling her way towards the door. Unfortunately this space was currently filled by sister so she soon came to a halt. The elf frowned and groped for a handle, mistaking the Lady for a door. After a few awkward seconds her hand realized that this particular obstacle was rather soft and warm for a door, after a few more seconds it concluded that said obstacle was probably not a door therefore someone needed to engage the brain in order to decipher this conundrum. To this end Kallian opened her eyes.

"Elissa?!" she yelped, now very much awake, she looked down and squeaked. "Why am I naked?" she tried vainly to cover herself. Then she remembered: _Oh yeah, I had sex last night_. She sent Aedan a flirty wink.

"Ahem." oh right, Elissa.

"Er, did you want something milady?"

"I believe we had an appointment to spar this morning."

"Um...did we. I don't remember..."

"I may have neglected to tell you, never the less, get your kit on and meet me in the courtyard post-haste." And with this the Lady made her exit.

When she was safely out of the room Kallian stuck her tongue out at her then sighed and turned to Aedan. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you."

"Eh?" he replied, confused.

"Learning all these courtly manners and such so I don't embarrass you."

"Is that what you're doing? If you were worried about that I could have found someone a bit less..." he trailed off not sure what word would describe his sister's Elissa-ness.

Kallian looked astonished. She hadn't even considered that.

"Too late now, I think. Once Elissa set her mind to something it's best not to...interfere." hr finished ominously.

"I guess I had better get going then." she sighed.

"Yup, have fun." he replied with a definite 'better you than me' tone in his voice.

She shot him a rude gesture as she left.

* * *

**Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haha! IT LIVES!**

**Ahem, sorry for taking so long I'm having quite a bit of trouble with where I want to take the plot, but rest assured I will get through it, so don't unwatch this or anything, it just may take a while. Suggestions are of course always welcome, just PM me. also I find the position of Beta once again open, Paragon seems to have dissappeared into the ether, for this chapter I was forced to have my mother do it, this is clearly unacceptable. So yeah, interested parties should also PM me. er, that's all for now. ta ta.**


End file.
